tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79911533785223154672024-02-07T19:07:41.828-08:00Communication BasicsFor a number of years, I have been using a number of tools for communication. My greatest tool is the ARWAT method. Now I want to introduce others to this one tool as an integrated way of understanding communication at the most basic level for all languages. Its foundation is that of common sense. I will also now be working 5 days a week on this and other related topics (my other blogs) starting March 20th, 2014. Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-16816396566632555722016-03-15T20:27:00.002-07:002016-03-15T20:27:31.445-07:00Communication Basics: Touching People's EmotionsEmotions are a TOUCHY subject, you might say! But also in addition to leave them UNTOUCHED is dangerous. Tonight, I listened to a political candidate give a well-reasoned concession speech. It also touched on some emotions. But I am not as certain that it was as well-emotioned (to add a new word) as well-reasoned of a speech. It missed some key measures, when it comes to what emotions are involved in trying to win over others. Could it be this is why a concession speech was offered rather than a winning speech? <br />
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Here are the basic negative and positive emotions. In most ideal cases, I would list the positives before the negatives, but in our situation today in the United States negative emotions are the place to begin, if we can learn anything from some of the winners in this political cycle. Here are the five basic sets:<br />
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shame and acceptance<br />
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grief and joy<br />
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jealousy and contentment<br />
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fear and confidence<br />
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anger and peace.<br />
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I love the positive emotions, as we all should. Sometimes though, you have to begin with reality. People are experiencing more reasons for the negative emotions than the positive ones. They are getting robbed. I believe Americans are! That makes the negative emotions kick in for healthy reasons, not for unhealthy ones. <br />
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Notice that we can paint or draw a rosy picture, but you can't make a burned up rose into a beautiful rose with an actual photograph. It would have to be doctored to be as beautiful. An actual photograph is then what it is. The photograph stills reality. It is not a painting or picture. <br />
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What is to be done; when people are forced to feel shame, grief, jealousy, fear, and anger? Are we to just tell people to paint a positive picture? No. I think we are to lead them out from theses negative emotions to where the positive emotions make sense. We are not to ignore the negatives. <br />
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Great leaders express the emotions of those people, who are their followers. They do these things about the negative emotions as well as the positive. They get angry about the negatives. They don't get out of control - they don't lose it. They get after the anger and the problems and solve them instead. <br />
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They tackle what is upsetting. They see the shame that is not necessary when ready. They get it. They don't ignore it. <br />
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They conquer what is frustrating. They see the grief that is not necessary when willing. They get it. They don't ignore it. <br />
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They fight what is distressing. They see the jealousy that is not necessary when satisfying. They get it. They don't ignore it. <br />
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They help against what is intimidating. They see the fear that is not necessary when able. They get it. They don't ignore it. <br />
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They discover or search out what is undeniable. They see the anger that is not necessary when sensible. They get it. They don't ignore it. <br />
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What distresses me about even some of my favorite people and politicians is that some times they paint a rosy picture in a tough situation. They color white and positive what is black and negative. You have to go into the negative and lead people emotionally into the positive. You have to get people's distressing situations. You can't just whitewash emotions. <br />
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Emotions aren't deceiving, but people are. Emotions are a normal part of the nervous system as much as logic. There are ill emotional and well as illogical. I wonder if tonight the concession speech happened mainly due to the negative emotional part of people not being addressed. Perhaps it was too much ignored or downplayed - the fear, the anger, and the frustration. Maybe some can't win, because they ignore these emotions that reflect reality not deception. <br />
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Optimism is great, but better than that is emotion that is healthy - emotion that knows the negative emotions as well as the positive ones. We are equipped with negative emotions for a reason. Bad things happen. Let's not ignore the bad things or the negative emotions attached to them. Let's win over them. Being logical is great, but greater still is well emotion and healthy logic. <br />
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Emotions must be TOUCHED, not UNTOUCHED. We need leadership that properly taps into the negative emotions and overcomes the obstacles to positive ones; so that people have many reasons for the positive emotions of acceptance, joy, contentment, confidence, and peace. <br />
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I'm a bit sad this evening that people and sometimes some pretty good ones are still not getting it. They are still ignoring what emotions are out there, even if they do it unintentionally. Even an unintentional error is still an error. I'm not sure if one can be right, when one is wrong about emotions. Maybe winning and losing says more than the loser realizes. <br />
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May the rain stop falling on our heads and may there be sunshine on our shoulders instead. Then we will be well to be happy. What a TOUCHING emotional and logical scene that will be! <br />
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Peace to All my Friends.<br />
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Jon Westlund<br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-82704527090006754222016-03-11T18:46:00.001-08:002016-03-11T18:46:32.936-08:00Communication Basics: Communicating Well On RelationshipsIn college, I was introduced to the importance of communicating well. It came through linguistics, the scientific study of language. It is part of the larger topic of communication. Lately, we have been hearing in the United States a lot of communication directed towards its citizens as many candidates try to convince the people to follow their vision for the country. I want to turn to a very old message to society, found both in the Hebrew Scriptures of Isaiah and in the Greek Scriptures of Luke for what I think needs to be communicated well. It is a summary statement of objectives in regard to a society or nation. Let's see how the current leaders are communicating. <br />
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I know there exist complex issues in relating Isaiah 61:1-2 and Luke 4:18, since not all the wording is the same. While I am fully aware of those issues, that is a topic for sometime future. Time is limited in a blog post, so I am going to look at Jesus' manifesto. Here it is with some modifications in some of the translation:<br />
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The Spirit of the LORD is on me, because he has anointed me<br />
to preach the gospel to the empty-handed;<br />
he has sent me ...<br />
to heal the brokenhearted,<br />
to proclaim liberty to the captives, and<br />
to give recovery of sight to the blinded,<br />
to offer freedom to the oppressed. <br />
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What I find interesting is what Jesus is offering and what is offered in Isaiah to people looking for a break in their lives to return to something healthier than what they are currently experiencing. It is a time for healthy message to those experiencing lack; a time for change, a time for a break, a time for freedom, a time for seeing things previously unseen. We've heard speeches and communication that sound promising like this passage, but that also have failed to deliver. What is missing? <br />
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I think what is missing is these promises without context or proper regard for the situation. Here is an ideally balanced social manifesto outlined by my linguistics professors, William A. Smalley and Donald N. Larson, at Bethel University in the 80's. Their strengths as professors of linguistics lay in their ability to look at language from a societal or anthropological perspective. To the best of my knowledge, they are the only ones who bring together this full outline of what I consider healthy or well-rounded communication. Their outline for language classes were outlined as follows, with some minor changes that I'm quite certain they would approve were they still living by yours truly:<br />
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Model and Theory<br />
Continuity and Change<br />
Bond and Break<br />
Rule and Freedom<br />
Sense and New Sense<br />
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We've all heard speeches in the United States that proclaim each of the later items - theory, change, break (independence), freedom, and new sense (innovation) as virtues. It is harder to sell the former items on the list, but that is a paramount tragedy. If I follow my role model and live well, I hope that is celebrated! If I am being paid fair wages that continue to rise according to merit, I hope that continues! If I am married to the right marriage partner, I hope we keep our bond to each other forever! If the rules I am given for success keep providing success, I hope I keep using those rules for achieving success repeatedly! Finally, if I have sense to see things, then I don't regret it! <br />
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What theory, change, independence, freedom, and new sense are for is when those things aren't happening. When their is disparity from fair wages, let change happen! When a bond is violated, let independence be available! When rules are not enabling, then let freedom reign! When sense is nonsense, then let a new sense be discovered! These are the contexts and situations when these all make sense. They are not one size fits all situations solutions. They are based on conditions and our responses to them in a society where we are in a relationship to each other. A society needs to cater to what is healthy and remove what is unhealthy. A society needs wellness. We need to welcome what is needed to fill what is lacking. <br />
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So I am in favor of a wellness theory and the healthy communication of all that makes us well -<br />
WHEN hands are empty from a model that lacks the particulars that follow. <br />
So I am in favor of healing -<br />
WHEN hearts are broken or breaking by negative amounts in trying to live life.<br />
I am also in favor of liberty or independence -<br />
WHEN people are made captives through barriers rather than bonds f relationship.<br />
I am also in favor of freedom<br />
WHEN the methods employed are not enabling, but disabling or oppressive to workers.<br />
Finally, I am in favor of a new sense for students and teachers<br />
WHEN the current sense can't see things that really exist. <br />
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So we in the United States are sometimes only fed part of what makes us whole and healthy. We are only partly made well through the people fighting it out through a societal message to us. Sometimes freedom is needed. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes independence is needed. Sometimes staying in a marriage is needed. To me, my professors ideas are well-communicated. They made me well! <br />
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Look at the conditions. What makes us well? It is the option that fixes what is lacking! The welcome speech at a welcome time is what occurs in both Isaiah and in Luke. It was the favored or opportune time in each case, because it made people well through what they needed in order to have their hands full in a healthy way! Don't ever let our leaders leave you empty handed - that is not a welcome message!!<br />
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To You Hearing a Well Communicated Message,<br />
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Jon<br />
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P.S. This blog post is more about social health than mental health, but it also is based on the insights of the latter or I never would see the things I see in this post. <br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-12155027011203621642016-02-24T20:03:00.000-08:002016-02-24T20:03:42.932-08:00Communication Basics: You Must Address the Elephant in the Room with RespectIn 2014 when I took my diagrams from September of that year to the classroom, I sort of knew the elephant in the classroom was the machines of computers and the internet. I used the student's computers or Chromebooks as one example that proved that bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter were better than smaller, slower, weaker, and unintelligent for mental health. Does any student ever ask for a smaller hard drive, a slower internet service, a weaker wi-fi signal, or a unintelligent phone? I think in writing in the past to the larger audience, I have not addressed the elephant in the room as effectively as when I spoke of my materials in the classroom. In writing this post, I want to address the positives and the negatives of the elephant in the room. <br />
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<b>The machine as understanding</b><br />
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When it comes to big, computers can do much bigger things than previously in an even smaller size. A laptop today dwarfs the bigness of past computers in what load of data it can handle and operations it can perform. The internet's numbers are incredible. Look how many hits can happen in less than seconds for an internet search. These numbers put your neighbor's volumes in a library to shame in some cases. So while the quality of information may suffer, the sheer number of sources is enormous. The students know this. The adults cry foul due to lack of quality. While I agree that quality is important alongside of quantity, the combined bigness is staggering after factoring in quality. <br />
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The negative though in understanding is the quality part. It is a problem. When I did research on mental health and on high end scholarship for discovering the meanings of words in a biblical text, I found that the best quality research was not always accessible on line. I had to go off line and submit an inter-library loan request to find a lot of primary materials. The internet though often did alert me to the places to go. It still has a quality than my old-fashioned research efforts could not touch for size! So can the internet be bigger in quality? Yes, it can. Can my Bible program called BibleWorks be of higher quality. Yes, it can. It probably will be in the future <br />
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<b>The machine as inspiring</b><br />
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The speed of an internet search engine is inspiring. It shows off speed like the fastest man or woman cannot touch. It probably sets new world records for speed every day! The problem is that many don't understand the speed part. <br />
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People are not seeing how the shift from water to wind to sound to light to electricity has changed the speed of life. These different means brought us boats, then cars, then planes, then lasers, and then the internet. People don't know that the speed of electricity when it comes to signal speed is in trillions of kilometers per hour. No boat or water can touch that speed! Not even light can touch it as only millions of miles per hour. <br />
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That jump from the speed of light to the speed of electricity is incredible. It is inspiring. Think of how you can call the person standing next to you in the same room and the signal can travel from your phone to a cell phone tower to a satellite and to their phone in a second or less. I can't run that fast!! Hence the weakness of inspiring speed. <br />
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The negative though is that some people let this part of the elephant in the room bother them. They try to match it's faster by going faster too. The problem is that while our minds can do things in a split second, our bodies consist of a lot more than a mind - there is bodily strength, a soul for connecting, and a heart for counting. Our selves are made up of more than electricity, we also have water, wind, sound, and light to deal with as well. They operate at a diverse # of speeds. A human needs a variable speed control to match up with real life. One speed - like that of electricity will not cut it. <br />
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On the most serious level, the elephant in the room may be the major contributor to why manic-depression and anxiety are on the rise while psychology seems to have contributed on this topic some great insight. I think the elephant speaks louder than text after text on mental health that does not recognize the machine leading to us living too fast (or in rebellion against machines - too slow). The machine has exposed a weakness in our thinking, the literature does not address well. <br />
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I used to think that Aesop's Fable of the Tortoise and the Hare with the moral of "slow and steady" was at least an elephant in the room. Maybe as a kitten. Likewise, I thought all the psychological literature on slow down to fight manic-depression and anxiety might be a mouse in room. I now know they are no longer very large. The machine in the room dominates. It says fast is better than slow, but its lesson can lead to everyone trying to make all things like the electronics of our day. <br />
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<b>The machine as motivating</b><br />
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The machine can make things that used to be difficult, easy. I think of how difficult it used to be to make a negative of a photo and get it to a friend. Now, I can turn to my printer with its scanner and take photos from the early 1900s and share them on Facebook with many of my family members. I can easily find out if my library has a book I am looking for or I can go to WorldCat and find books and information on them that took weeks and months previously as I waited for the library to find things for me. <br />
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This motivates us to do things that are now easier than before. It can make the once difficult easy. I don't understand why sometimes it makes things more difficult instead. Well actually I do. <br />
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The weakness of machines is that the inventors or techies think that strong is the same as big. No. Let me say it again. No. Strength is not another kind of big. It is instead flexibility. It sees the yoga master as the strongest man in the world. I think the strongest man competitions should be called the biggest man competitions! But back to computers. They lack flexibility, sometimes making the once easy now more difficult. Go figure!<br />
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Still, at the end of the day, they overall contribute flexibility, the ability to do the once impossible. Yeah, baby! I'm motivated!<br />
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<b>The machine as captivating</b><br />
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Walk into any room of people and machines called computers, tablets, and cell phones and you'll see people captivated by the machines. If some of the people are of a certain kind - a celebrity of some kind, then the people might still be captivated by people. The machines show us the previously unseen. Teachers can do the same, but sometimes they lose sight of their unique place in the world of training the mind to be captivated. Science captivates by showing the previously unknown. <br />
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People are captivated by the smart person who puts old wine in old wine skins - that hot rod Lincoln and new wine in new wine skins - new software in new hardware. It is taking the concealed and making it revealed. It is taking the once hidden and making it known. Our machines - the electronics - can do just that. So can great teachers and parents. <br />
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The problem is when the teachers and people only pay attention to the old and not the new. They try to put the new into the old or the old into new. They can't see. They are blind. People who can see usually don't follow the blind. <br />
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The problem is that computers and the internet are also blind. They can be used for seeing or for blinding. They can focus attention and captivate for good reasons or they can distract us from the bigger things in life. Can we see? Can we prevent distractions and know to see what matters most? Can we see what machines help us see and what they blind us to seeing? <br />
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<b>Conclusion</b><br />
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So the elephant in the room of machines and electronics must be treated with respect. It can be seen as understanding, inspiring, motivating, and captivating. You have to respect anything or anyone that does those things. There is no point in trying to ignore something so big, so fast, a little strong, and scientifically smart. <br />
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You can try to say that small is better, slow is better, weak is better and unintelligent is better; but you will lose. The lessons are elementary, really. Every child knows that big, fast, strong, and smart is better. Why else do they look up to the adults? Why don't you agree with artificial intelligence and put natural intelligence back into that mind of yours? It feels good doesn't it. Don't ignore the elephant, see it. Now that you see it, you are back in charge of your decisions. <br />
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Sincerely,<br />
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Jon<br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-57639228085420927612016-02-19T12:36:00.004-08:002016-02-19T12:36:43.473-08:00Communication Basics: What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate about RestAs a track coach, I have always understood the difference between walking and renewing. The problem is that many people regard walking as a form of rest. It is NOT! Not only that, but it is the least restful of the paces available to a person trying to reach a destination in a particular time frame. <br />
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Let me illustrate this from track. In track, there are four paces:<br />
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rest<br />
sprint<br />
run<br />
walk.<br />
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These are the variable speeds available based on a person's lung, spirit, breath, or wind capacity. Every public school track coach knows these are different. I hope everyone can agree on these. My coaches never failed in communicating this clearly. Walking was unacceptable for the mile run, for one example!<br />
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Let me also illustrate from the Bible, In Isaiah, there are four paces:<br />
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renew<br />
fly<br />
run<br />
walk.<br />
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These are the variable speeds available for those who bind themselves to the LORD (Yahweh). Every private school should teach these paces to all their students. I hope all Christians (and Jews) can agree on these. When a situation calls for a sprint, I hope no Christian (and Jew), thinks a run or trotting pace will do!<br />
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This is all pretty straightforward, but there is still a problem. The problem is that people think walking is restful like renewals or rest itself is. That is a major mistake. <br />
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Let me explain what I mean. Moving from renew and rest pace to walk pace, each pace is increasingly more restless. So here is how I rank each pace in terms of its level of rest:<br />
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renew/rest - most restful<br />
sprint - more restful<br />
run - less restful<br />
walk - least restful. <br />
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To understand this, you need to recall something that goes beyond track athletes. You have to think in terms of location and time. In everyday life, people have a destination and a time for arrival. In track, you have for a destination of at least three places, the fenced in area around the track, the starting line, and the finish line. <br />
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Think of young family members here. Children don't get too restless about shorter distances or shorter time frames. They get restless about longer distances and longer time frames. Don't you recall this question on the way to Grandma's house: "Are we there yet?" This grows out their increasing restlessness on every stop along the way. They won't rest till they get to Grandma's house unless you can entertain them, like my parents when I was growing up and help the children lose track of time. Everyone should get this. <br />
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In track, it is the same way, except now you are no longer dealing with the youngest family members, but with young people who are now functioning out of their first stages of being an adult. Still the lesson does not change - the slower the pace, the greater the restlessness. <br />
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The first pace is that of rest. Once at the track and settled on a location, a good track coach instructs all competitors to take it easy and to rest. He or she then tells each individual to listen for the 1st through 3rd calls for their races. These 3 calls are each fore-warnings to report to the area of competition and to break off from resting with the team is at place where they are resting. Rest, though, is the first state or pace that track athletes need to master. During full rest there is no distance or time between start and finish. You rest where and when you are resting with your teammates. They may not move an inch and settle in under a second. Their starting and finishing line overlap one another. Rest is living in the here and now fully. <br />
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The second pace is that of the sprinters. They are generally those who run races that can be finished in a minute or less. This varies, of course, according to conditioning. Also the separation between starting and finishing lines are 50 meters (I'm not sure what has replaced the 60 yard run from an earlier era?), 100 meters, 200 meters and 400 meters. These locations are relatively close to each other and like I said before can be sprinted in under a minute. With that short distance between lines and the short time to run, the sprinter's restlessness until they have reached the finish line is relatively short. Be smart here. You must separate fear or nerves due to a lack of confidence from restlessness. Once the runner eclipses the finish line, they have put that race to rest. The sprinter flys a short distance for a short time to reach the here and now of the finish line. <br />
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The third pace is that of the runners. These races all take over a minute. There is the 800 meters, 1600 meters, 3200 meters, and 4800 meters (3 mile) runs. In these instances, the races vary from around 2 minutes long up to quarter of an hour. The 3 mile race on the high school level is not part of a track meet like in college. It is instead the distance for cross country racing. Runners have to set a reasonable pace for their distance and they have to be more patient than a sprinter because they have to run for a longer time. As an experienced runner and coach, I can tell you that one of the reasons sprinters don't want to e distance runners is because they don't like how long the race takes. As a former distance runner, I can tell you that the length of the race is the roughest part. You don't get to rest until you cross the finish line! A runner runs for a little longer distance and time. It can test how well you handle a long restless state. For me, the two most restful moments were the start and the finish. Let's end the wait.<br />
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Finally, the fourth pace is that of the walkers. These races all take place at the college level and higher. I happen to be at the UCLA Summer Olympic Festival in the early nineties where the American record for race walking was set by the gentleman I happened to visit with before his run. I also had one of my former teammates from high school, Roger Kordus, go on and become a race walker in college. That is my only direct connection to these races. For me, this is where the tortoise and the hare story makes some sense. It is "slower" than the sprint and run, but not "slow" and here "steady" is important. The thing is that these races can become tedious and people can become restless and leave before the race is over!<br />
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The problem in our day is that people mistakenly associate restlessness mostly with sprinting rather than walking. I think there is a failure to communicate and understand the restlessness of a sprinter in that case. The restlessness is building due to a delay in a finish, and not due to a fast finish. Also there is a restlessness created by a tension between one person who can do something fast and someone who is less fast. Let's clarify things more at this point. Here is how I see it:<br />
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renewing is not restless<br />
sprinting is restless for a short time<br />
running is restless for a little longer time<br />
walking is restless for the longest time among the four.<br />
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In each instance, restlessness is there until the final destination and the end time are reached. There is no tension, when you are already here. There is the height of tension, when we are not there yet. Don't forget the elementary here - remember the kids! <br />
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I am at a place of rest in my life. It is only when I walk out the the door and meet people who still haven't found what they are looking for that I run into restlessness! Ah, the satisfaction of having already finished finding what I was previously looking for! Ah, the satisfaction of having finished this post also. <br />
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Be healthy and live life to its fullest,<br />
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Jon<br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-79859157972844886622016-01-15T20:38:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:38:00.569-08:00Communication Basics: A Test for Your Present Mental HealthThe test on this occasion is a test of your mental health. This test is a direct test of your "software programming" for the thinking in your mind that you learned in school, etc. (It cannot test the physical health of your brain, though that can be a complicating factor). This test will also test you not only on your logical intelligence, but also your emotional intelligence. <br />
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Do not be intimidated, if you fail to get 76% correct. Before I wrote my book and constructed my diagrams, I failed this test too. Test results only test your actual performance at that moment They in no way test your potential to be healthy and how fast your scores will improve - which will in many cases be very fast! I like to say that actual great mental health is not far away. <br />
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On any test occasion, it is important to outline the rules. You cannot use my book. This is a closed book test for those how have never opened my book, <i>Mental Health for Everyone</i><strike style="font-style: italic;">.</strike> If you use the diagrams in the front of my book, then you will pass easily as mentally healthy. That will skew your health scores in your favor. If you have already peered inside my book and there is no turning back, the test then will access what you actually learned. <br />
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Here then are the challenging questions:<br />
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Draw a four by four diagram of the most basic principles for teaching (seeing). Note on the diagram the labels you would use for the columns and for the levels of the diagram, etc. Make your best guesses if you are not sure. Try to avoid leaving your diagram blank. <br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-87181342269673350032016-01-15T20:12:00.001-08:002016-01-15T20:12:42.778-08:00Communication Basics: What does it Mean to be Healthy versus Unhealthy?We assume we know the meaning of healthy. Some psychologists claim that there is no contrast between healthy and unhealthy, there is only a continuum. In that case, I suppose a bad grade doesn't ever mean failure, but only a grade that is lower than someone else's grade. The idea of having only a continuum sounds a bit suspicious. In that case, you can be declared mentally healthy if you are better than schizophrenic. I hope I grade better than that. Just because I don't have multiple personalities shouldn't mean that I am healthy. So what is it to meet the grade of being mentally healthy? That is a great question we are going to explore and test. <div>
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In October 2015, I finished a book titled, <i>Mental Health for Everyone: For Making Good Choices.</i> In the title is a summary in seconds of what the book is all about. All of the words are relatively clear though a person might not know the precision that the title has in it's choice of words. It is my shortest statement of the point of the book. </div>
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There is one word though that is not real clear as to definition. It grabs attention, but alludes our grasp. It is the word - healthy. It is, according to a dictionary, to be in good health or to be not sick or injured. How do we measure good health when it comes to the mind - the mental part of ourselves?</div>
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I think it is actually fairly clear to me now. I think the grading system in the school hints at a pretty good way to score mental health. You can fall into a continuum of healthy to a degree, but there is also a point where we say someone has passed a lowest measure or someone has failed to make that lowest grade. </div>
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I think a person can have a passing grade of health while not being fully healthy. Likewise one can have a failing grade of unhealthy even while they are not fully unhealthy. In school, I was lucky to make the passing grade a number of times, but that didn't mean I was necessarily as mentally healthy as my grades seemed to indicate. </div>
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Here is the most dramatic example in my life. While I was getting on the Dean's list in college, my mind was suffering not thriving. I won't bore people with the details, but if the measure of being on the Dean's List means high intelligence or smarts, then why did it happen that at the very time I reached a pinnacle of smarts that my mind was traveling in the opposite direction at the same time? A smart mind should be a help towards health and not be a hindrance, right? </div>
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Since Sept 2014, I have known what caused my mind to begin to fail the grade even while getting high grades. I didn't have a way of thinking that fit my mind's natural way of thinking. Some of the way that I had been taught to think, didn't bring peace of mind, but anguish of mind. I was thinking in ways that were too heavy, too restless, too difficult, and too foggy to find peace of mind. It was too hard. Or sometimes too things to travel to the opposite extremes. . </div>
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Then when I sat down to write about mental health for 2 months in August and September of 2014, peace of mind for me came together in 4 diagrams that to this day give me more peace than I ever had previously. The peace of mind I have now matches more with being a cheerful five year old.</div>
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The central idea of being mentally healthy is that one has to reach a certain level and column on my 4 x 4 diagrams on page xvi to be healthy. I call it the rule of 76%. You have to get past just 3 x 3 (75%). Likewise I think a passing grade in each level or column could also be the rule of 76%. </div>
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There is one other aspect of my book that is very important. Martin Luther King once said the first step was more important than being able to see the rest of the staircase, if my memory serves me right. My book says that is not healthy. What is healthy is taking that first step knowing at least in a shadowy view where the stairs take you in the end. In this case the books says we start at square 1 as an interval and end at square 64. </div>
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Now, not all of us are called to lead at or get to interval 64. We can stop ourselves somewhere before that point. But what is not optional is the need for respect for those who keep going on to higher and higher heights. No respect for the higher intervals is not any more healthy than a bench presser not being respectful of another weight lifting who lifts more and with more repetitions. </div>
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So that is my definition of healthy. Hit 76% to pass as healthy. 75% or less would be unhealthy. Likewise someone who says necessary knowledge all ends at high school (or God forbid in kindergarten) is unhealthy. Let's communicate clearly through numbers. </div>
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We need real mental health in the United States. We need to measure it accurately. In my next entry, I will offer a test of mental health. Thank you. </div>
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To Your Better Mental Health,</div>
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Jon </div>
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Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-3672147540128464802015-12-18T11:40:00.001-08:002015-12-18T11:44:04.447-08:00Communication Basics: Healthy Begins with Fast and Variable<div class="MsoNormal">
I Have to Last and Not Just be Fast, I Have to Be Fast and
Not Just Last</div>
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Whenever a person does an activity like writing a book, it
is done in the context of time. There is
a first edition and there is a last edition.
From one to the other, improvements can be made, but the first edition remains
the first except under one condition. That
condition is that a significant part of the fast first edition will last until
the last edition. Was the book written
well enough to avoid a full restart at its core? Will I need to retract what I said in any
major way? </div>
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I wrote the first edition of my book, Mental Health for
Everyone, to get out my ideas fast and to make them last. I felt the need to try to break the cycle of
mental illness fast, especially for the sake of the suicidal; but also to make
corrections to my work as it progressed to make sure its effect will last. The finishing part is never completely done
for a writer. For example, I can always
continue improving the book. The only
question is whether the start requires a full restart. I don’t believe my book will require a
re-start – that I was too jumpy and was guilty of a false start. I waited for the gun and I am off and running
already with no plans to finish until the race is over!</div>
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I don’t need to restart what I did, but that doesn’t mean I
can’t add to what it says to explain aspects of the book in a still better
way. My principle in the area of schooling
and relationship of “fast and variable” will last. I will not retract that piece, but I can
still further amplify what I mean. I’m a
track athlete and track coach so my analogy from track is routine to me. Even the complex parts are relatively simple
to me. The first edition of has to balance amplify with simplify, but only in
the future it can be good to still further amplify it as well.</div>
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Let’s amplify what I say in my book. So what do I mean when I suggest that the key
to schooling is being fast? Doesn’t that
fly into the face of common sense which according to Aesop’s Fable says that “Slow
and steady wins the race”. Also doesn’t
that disagree with psychology’s insights about manic-depression or
hyper-activity? I can clearly answer for
myself that it does not fly in the face of common sense or the basic insight of
psychology on manic-depression. Let me
assure you though what I mean by adding to what I have said before. </div>
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In my book, Mental Health for Everyone, I emphasize four
principles for guiding mental health in the areas of education, schooling,
coaching, and teaching. They are:<br />
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1<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">)</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Biggest </span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 2) </span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Fastest </span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 3) </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Strongest </span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 4) </span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Smartest</span></div>
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It is not just the biggest that wins, it is not just the
fastest that wins, it is not just the strongest that wins, and not just the
smartest that wins. It requires all four
in some winning combination. All of this
may sound a bit controversial. I can’t
amplify on that here in this short space or amplify on every principle individually here, but let me assure you that I am aware
of the movement from big (small) to biggest, fast to fastest, strong to
strongest, and smart to smartest. </div>
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I am not a proponent of the too big to fail, etc.
thinking. I am a proponent of a healthy
movement from all of the least starting points to all of the greatest ending points. For example, biggest is a virtue, and it is not
a harm in the proper understanding. In
the size of this blog entry, I am going to only amplify more what I have said
before on fast to fastest, but I can make it even bigger elsewhere or when I am
given more time than the average blog reader will give me. </div>
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There are five themes I want to emphasize. To each I will devote one paragraph. They are:</div>
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1) Fast to Last</div>
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2) Fast to Fastest</div>
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3) Variable before steady</div>
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4) Unhealthy states</div>
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5) Healthy states</div>
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First, let’s discuss fast to last. Here is a key thing. The carpenter’s rule says, “Measure twice,
cut once”. Why don’t they say measure
once? Isn’t that faster? Doesn’t twice mean we waste time? Doesn’t that mean there is no end to
double-checking, triple-checking, etc.? You get the point. I believe the first measure is to get the job
done fast. The second measure to make
sure the first measure can last. If it
doesn’t and only if it doesn’t, then you measure again to make sure it will
last. You keep re-measuring until you
get a match, then the measure with high probability will last and now you can
move fast to cut the board once. It is a
lot better than starting over again, because you were going too fast. In the long haul, a house built by measure twice until two agreed is
built fast and to last. </div>
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Next, notice that I say it starts from fast and moves to
fastest. I don’t believe that in life we
begin from slow. Even babies are
commended for being fast, when they are.
They learn that fast trying to keep up with adults. We recognize when they are getting fast. We say, “Look at him (or her) go!” Today, we
have the signal speed of electricity moving at trillions of kilometers per hour
to power the internet and our cell phones.
The baby’s physical movements are no match for the signal speed of the
human brain or the internet, but eventually that baby may become the physically
fastest man (or woman) on earth! </div>
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Next, I say variable comes before steady for a very obvious
reason. When I first was a competitive runner
in grade school no one said anything about steady. They didn’t have too. I never ran far enough for that advice to
really apply. Even when I ran somewhere
around 550 meters, I just ran as fast as I could to stay with the leader. Later in Junior High, I set a record (that didn't last!) in the
200 meters. It
was not until high school, when I went up to the 400 meters, that I realized
first that I had to vary my speed from the 200 meter race. Then I also learned to vary my pace (very
slightly) for the 4 parts of 400 meters.
Finally, when I move to the mile, then I learned the lesson of
steady. But steady doesn’t win a single
race, if you are slow. Aesop is wrong. Someday, I am going to write not
a fable called, “The Tortoise and the Hare”, but the true story called, “The
Wolf, the Tortoise, and the Hare. Well, it will be a fable that is in one sense true. You
can imagine who wins!</div>
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Next, I want to applaud psychology. The other day, I applauded psychology and a
sincere Christian, who met me for the first time, wanted to introduce me to
Jesus. He didn’t know I could applaud
both. Let me applaud psychology for
recognizing one unhealthy state – manic depression. Most of society still doesn’t know what it
is, because the diagrams for it are rarely introduced with the theory. Psychology gets it right that
manic-depression is unhealthy. It shows that
too fast is harmful outside the healthy lines. Please pause for the applause. Now, there is still one problem. That is
not the only unhealthy state. It is
though the only unhealthy state that colors outside the healthy lines. So that unhealthy state is fairly obvious. There is another state that is equally
unhealthy. I call it the too slow
version of unhealthy – procrastination regret.
On the upper cycle it lives in the euphoria of its procrastination and
in the lower cycle it lives in the despair of regret. This too is unhealthy! This set of unhealthy states can happen
between the lines as can also too fast unhealthy states within the lines. Psychology needs to finish the job!</div>
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Finally, the major problem for psychology in the US at least
is, as Japanese leaders in the business world have commented, that they are
too negative. They start with a name that
essentially names what is unhealthy, but does not start with what is healthy. They don’t talk about the four speeds we have
in track that are healthy: rest, sprint, run, and walk. What is the name for all the healthy states
together? In track, we call one combination Fartlek
running with unappealing connotations.
So do we call the healthy states fast variable instead? That is my first guess. It may not be my very last, but I am sticking to
as a start for discussing what is healthy and not just what is unhealthy. My track coach made me a healthy runner. He didn’t just teach when I was an unhealthy runner. I pray that we can all learn to be healthy
minders and not just healthy runners, etc.
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Everyone needs to last to a reasonable level and not just be
fast. We also have to be fast to a
reasonable level and not just last. Have
a great day running your mind to health and not to stealth – a hidden objective
of health. I have revealed to you some part of what is healthy here. It is a start. I will add one last
thing. Smart athletes know that the
first step to running fast is recharging your batteries with rest when
needed. That especially applies to your
mind. Take care. May you now have greater peace of mind. </div>
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Be Healthy Everyone,</div>
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Jon</div>
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Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-5297397668164909932015-11-20T14:40:00.001-08:002016-03-11T18:51:42.018-08:00Communication Basics: The Tortoise and the Hare Story isn't True Even if FictionalListen to these phrases:<br />
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let's rest for a second</div>
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let's sprint for a minute</div>
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let's run for an hour</div>
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let's walk for today</div>
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Please note the combination of speed variations with the variety of time frames. They vary accordingly. So which is better resting or walking? The question seems a little crazy doesn't it, because in context neither is better than the other. But all four paces or speeds are necessary. My point is that you need to be able to have different speeds to do well. </div>
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What is missing in so many discussions of big topics like manic-depression is the basics. We too often don't start there, but at the pinnacle of what we know and sufficiently complicate it so that no one knows what we are really saying. So let's not begin first with the meaning of manic-depression. Let's start with some more basic questions than even those presented above.</div>
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Let's start out with a first question you could ask grade school children. It is: </div>
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Which is better fast or slow?</div>
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I can hear the children shouting out: Fast! </div>
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Let's ask a second question, but this time of children who are older like junior highers. It is:</div>
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Is it better to vary your speed or to always be at the same speed? </div>
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I can hear the students shouting: Vary!</div>
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Finally, let's ask some high schools to put this altogether. Which is better fast and steady, fast and variable, slow and steady, or slow and variable? </div>
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I believe they would combine fast and variable together and regard that combination as the best. The thing that I think is overlooked is what I learned in track. It is the person who gets to the finish line first who wins, not the person who exceeded their body's speed limits for the full distance. The body and the mind have limitations on them depending on the distance to be traveled. It is about the destination first and the time allowed second. It is about our matching pace third. </div>
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A distance runner is a lot like a sprinter - both are going their fastest to get to a destination. The difference is that they are able to run or sprint in a different gear than the other. They establish a comfortable winning pace for their race. Even sprinters vary how they run a 100 meter, 200 meter, and a 400 meter race. They are not the same in terms of which gear you use to run that respective race. But all are at your fastest possible pace, if you desire to win. </div>
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That is more easily seen in the case of distance runners - the pace is critical to winning the race - to getting to the finish line first. The goal is not to be the fastest - then you would run the same speed as a sprinter and crash and burn - the goal is to be the first to the finish line. So fast here is relative to the distance and the time allowed. Fast varies. </div>
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We don't allow a sprinter to run the 100 in 2 minutes. We also don't expect the miler to run the mile in 2 minutes. Yet both racers can win their respective races with faster paces and shorter times than others in their same race. That is why I think the rule is fast and variable. I agree with my high school track teammates. </div>
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The story of the Tortoise and the Hare is very distorting of the honest truth. The reality is that the hare would have won had he had a warning system to resume his run following his rest periods. The other thing is that the race distance favored the tortoise. <br />
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The problem is that this story places in some minds the idea that slow and steady is favorable. I don't think it is. The goal in track is to run <b>as fast as you can</b> within your capacity. It is not to go as slow as you can. You are not running so as to win the race, when you run slow. That does not mean it can't be a variance of fast that helps the most and is the healthiest. </div>
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Manic depression comes from too fast BUT not from fast. Likewise procrastination comes from too slow or not fast enough. We must avoid both traps in order to measure up to what every high school student knows - all they have to do is walk to a friendly track meet. I sure wish more people did! We would have more people practicing fast and variable. Run your pace to the race and rest, sprint, run, or walk your way to victory over manic-depression or procrastination-regret!</div>
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Sincerely,</div>
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Jon</div>
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Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-90208104903956077312015-11-20T10:00:00.000-08:002015-11-20T10:00:11.227-08:00Communication Basics: When Excess Means Too Much of a Good ThingThere are many good things that can be destroyed by excess. An apple is a good thing, but a diet of only apples is not. Protein is a good thing, but just hamburgers at McDonald's for one's entire diet is not! You get the point. Well, I want you to get to point about a set of excesses in the case of mental health and not just physical health. <br />
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My book on mental health, Mental Health for Everyone, deals a lot with excesses and how to beat the problem of excess. It deals with it through the principle of intervals. One gets bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter little by little, moment by moment, step by step, and bit by bit. The attainments that are every child's dream - to become bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter, don't occur overnight except in fairy tales but they can begin that night. So my approach in this piece will be to get at the basics of defeating excesses! <br />
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Let's bulldoze them down together, shall we? There are four major sets of excesses. They are:<br />
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1) expert excess or amateur excess<br />
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2) manic depression excess or procrastination-sleep excess<br />
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3) easy street excess or difficulty street excess<br />
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4) know everything excess and know nothing excess<br />
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You probably have not heard of some of these under these names, but I would guess everyone has experienced these excesses whether it be at school, at work, at play, or at a religious gathering. <br />
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Let's deal with each one, one at a time, starting with the first one. As I deal with each I will be more specific about each generalized grouping.<br />
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Expert excess I call "expertitis". It has a close cousin, a fellow excess, called "amateuritis". They both fail to lift a light weight more than previous lifts that is necessary to get bigger. Excess expertise fastens too heavy a load on people's backs. Excess amateurism fastens too light of a load on people's backs. They both look foolish, yet day after day the king doesn't realize he's wearing no clothes! We want people's minds to grow into a greater understanding - it is just that it has to happen little by light to remain light so that people reach a bigger understanding. The excesses make understanding smaller. We need to change this in terms of quantity and quality from both excesses. <br />
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Manic-depression excess is what it sounds like. It is both too high and too low. It goes outside actual human limitations. It has a close cousin, a fellow excess, called procrastination-slowness. The latter pair is my own creation. Isn't it ironic that on the internet I can plenty of articles on manic-depression and on bipolar that are sicknesses, but I could not find an article on what is its healthy opposite nor on its close cousin of excess? I had to go to other sources than psychology for a serious concern about being a procrastinator or being too slow - a slow poke. You find this in the business world primarily. This is interesting because the success of high technology has led us into a steady diet of fast and steady. Also interesting is that a child's fairy tale has taken hold in psychological circles. It is part of Aesop's fables and it is called, The Tortoise and the Hare. This story's fabled moral is a steady diet of "slow and steady wins the race". Not according to the internet and the rest of technology! The excesses of both stories - Aesop's and the internet's - are woven into too much of our thinking. We are people that should be fast and variable - able to rest, sprint, run, or walk depending on the distance and time. We aren't doing this! We need to break free in terms of placement and timing from both excesses. <br />
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Easy excess can be called easy street. Difficult excess, its close cousin, can be called difficult street. When it comes to increments it should be easy, but this should not lead to an avoidance of difficulty. Eventually in our jobs over time, we can handle more difficult processes than we could at first. If we try to master everything in the beginning, it all becomes difficult and then some even quit. In other cases, employees can be with a company for years and never master the harder parts of a job. It should be that we are moving from easy to easy step by step, but not all in one step and not with the end goal that we cannot master hard things. The greats make the difficult look easy. Look at your greatest musical artists and at your best athletes - they make even the difficult look easy - so it is both and not excess! We need to free ourselves from the popular approaches to methods and purposes where we too one day can make the difficult look easy. <br />
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The I know everything mentality and its close cousin, I know nothing mentality are both dangerous. We have got people who run around claiming to know what they don't know. I see this a lot with predictions of the future. Some things you can know about tomorrow given that certain conditions remain constant, but you don't know that they necessarily will. There are people who claim to know the end of the earth. I thought we we human beings who don't know everything? Having said that though, we also like to play at knowing nothing. Really? You really don't know. Some of this play borders on pathetic. If we've had teachers, we ought to know some things as do others, we ought to know things others don't, we ought to not know things others do know, and there ought to be things neither person knows; but this last category is only one of four - not the whole deal. We need to be learning new things in terms of things and kinds and not just be stuck with two old bad cousins. <br />
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It is time to close up this discussion. The point in all of it is to be healthy by avoiding excess. This article for example can only be so long. We need to avoid the excesses of experts and amateurs and step up our understanding little by little. We need to avoid the excesses of the Manic -Depression and the Procrastination-Slow and step up our inspiring moment by moment. We need to avoid the excesses of Easy Street and Difficult Street (it might be also called Baker Street with the difficult hero, Sherlock Holmes, in room 212B). We also need to avoid the excesses of know-it-all and know-it-not at all and develop the captivating bit by bit If you avoid the communication of this article, then please be sure it is not because of one of these excesses. Improve your ability to listen and then speak - to communicate - through excess avoidance. We need to change excesses, break from excesses, free ourselves from excesses, and discover some new things. Remember too many apples is not a good thing for your diet. Your mind has a healthy diet too! Get mental health and then get happy!<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
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Jon<br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-60037808794003810692015-11-19T20:35:00.000-08:002015-11-19T20:41:21.490-08:00Communications Basics 101: A Communicators Job is Never Done on a Higher LevelWhile I have completed a book and then had it published too, it does not mean my communication is over. In one sense it is, the fundamentals in it really are done. What remains is more of each of those fundamentals - their development. My book is titled, Mental Health for Everyone,<br />
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One of the chapters describing schooling is the key to making a major dent in the problem of manic-depression and the other extreme of putting people to sleep. My sample or example in that chapter comes from the sport of track. <br />
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Since writing the book, I think the key point using track is solid, but I should have developed my approach in contrast two approaches. There are essentially three approaches to the mind's handling of relationships. They are:<br />
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fast and steady<br />
fast and variable<br />
slow and steady.<br />
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I should have used the story of what I will call my reformed school one mile race. In high school, I ran a race against two runners from a reformed school. One was fast and steady and the other was slow and steady. I was the one who was fast and variable. <br />
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The fast and steady runner took off in the race like it was a 400 meter or 440 yard race. He collapsed after a couple of laps. I mean he literally collapsed onto the track. <br />
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His teammate on the other hand ran steadily slow until he realized it was the last lap. Then he at the last moment took off in an effort to catch me. <br />
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Personally, I was lulled into running too slow myself by his approach to the race and by his activities leading up to the race. I call it the zombie effect. Until he took off after his procrastination in the race I had been running a too relaxed pace myself. Fortunately, a teammate let me know I should get going since the guy was coming up on my fast. <br />
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I took off harder myself with 300 meters or 330 yards to go. I in the end held him off since I had run fast, but variably based on my distance. <br />
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In this race, I knew I had to vary my pace from what I would do for 400 meters. That way I did not collapse. But I also knew to run fast still, since too slow of a pace could also lose the race. That is what happened to the second runner. <br />
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In the United States we have young people especially who are trapped by a world that is only fast and steady and eventually collapses - too often in the form of suicide or some form of breakdown. We also have many who procrastinate until the race is lost and it is too late to win the prize. <br />
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I could further the ideas in my book by developing this story. So I am doing it now. This will likely go into a second edition, if I am fast enough to get that opportunity. <br />
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The good thing is that I finished my book - I did not collapse and not finish. Likewise, I didn't drag it out until the last gasp and end up getting it out too late - I still have things left over to improve next time. I didn't engage in fruitless procrastination. <br />
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My book titled, Mental Health for Everyone, is available through Amazon and through Barnes and Noble. To get to my book simply type in my full name or the full title or both. You will find it.<br />
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If you want a bit of a preview beyond that found at Amazon.com, then you can go to youtube and watch the following (you might have to copy and paste this to your browser):<br />
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC5XDFly3GA<br />
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Have fun! Remember, it is fast and variable wins the race. Go get 'em and let's win this race!<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon Westlund<br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-21241808733724527352015-05-06T08:42:00.002-07:002015-05-06T08:42:16.082-07:00Communication Basics: A Quick UpdateIt has been some time since I made an entry on this blog. My goal had originally been to resume submitting posts in August of 2014. Now we are fair distance from that time frame. So I want to offer a quick update. <br />
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My book, <i>Mental Health for Everyone: In Captivating, Motivating, Inspiring, Meaningful Pictures</i> is very near completion. The pictures in the book are what have me excited. Before long, I will be sharing something about at least one of them, before the book arrives on shelves. <br />
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I wish I had time today to do that, but I have to get back to writing and finishing that race before I begin another. Let me say this quickly - the book has huge implications for communication. <br />
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Imagine this - you could summarize the smarts of the two authors of the Johari Window, of Vince Lombardi in <i>Instant Replay</i> and John Wooden's Pyramid of Success, the wave diagrams for manic-depression and hyper-activity, and the work on education and translation by Benjamin Bloom and by Eugene Nida all on one page. Now that is something to be excited about, isn't it? <br />
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I have been very fortunate to simplify all this material to<b> where</b> it is now accessible from the starting line on one page! You only have to see the back side of the same sheet to picture the finish line!<br />
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That is what is in my book. The danger in a book is that the person gets lost in the forest due to too many trees. I and my editors will be working hard to make sue the pictures (or diagrams) in the book remain the focus. <br />
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Please pray that I can hasten the project along. That is enough for now. It is coming soon, I pray!<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
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P. S. Don't be too late to the start and too soon to the finish! Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-57688307386677510022014-10-13T09:56:00.000-07:002014-10-13T09:56:35.367-07:00Communication Basics: My Most Famous Mentor<div class="MsoNormal">
My Most Famous Mentor</div>
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It is hard to choose any one person from those who have
mentored me, but my most famous mentor is former UCLA Bruins Head Coach, John Wooden. I think he chose to mentor me because of my
“famous” landlords in the LA area, Rod and Marge Rood.</div>
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Rod had been a personal friend of former President Dwight D.
Eisenhower. Rod signed the papers in
France for the 1984 Olympics to come to LA.
Marge is personal friends with
people like Vin Scully. These two UCLA
alumni were incredibly generous people.
So I want everyone to understand they gave me unimaginable open doors. It was like that magical closet in that
movie. I hope I have been grateful
enough for all that they gave me. </div>
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Coach Wooden was a very generous man himself. He answered me two major questions as a
coach. The first was this: “What are the
fundamentals of basketball?” The second
was this: “Should I be coaching or should I be doing something else with my
career?” I know personally why his
former players all look up to him. </div>
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His answer to the first question was his “Pyramid of
Success”. It consists of 15 building
blocks of success. I have been
privileged now to take those 15 blocks and then add his favorite four letter
word – love – to create an action packed diamond from it. The diamond pictures better the advantage of
the traction of action that should increase everyone’s mental health. </div>
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His answer to my second question was his life story of
coming from Indiana. He wanted to pursue
baseball, but coming out of Indiana he naturally became a basketball coach. I guess that is why coming from Wisconsin and
the land of Vince Lombardi, I naturally chose football over all the rest. </div>
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<o:p> I hope you will take time to benefit especially from Coach Wooden's "Pyramid of Success". I'll wait and see if my "Diamond of Action Success" will advance his brilliance to yet another level.</o:p></div>
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Take care.</div>
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Sincerely,</div>
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Jon</div>
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Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-6424601707841017222014-10-13T09:51:00.000-07:002014-10-13T09:52:10.662-07:00Communication Basics: My Manuscript for My Book has Been SubmittedI have not been writing as frequently on this blog or my other major blog due to my needing to complete a book manuscript for publication. It will hopefully be out by the end of the year.<br />
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The book's title is: <i>Mental Health for Everybody: A Field Guide.</i> I don't think I have to argue for its relevance. I might have to argue for its content.<br />
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It is a book that will bring basic scientific studies (including psychology) down to the average person's level (but not by bypassing, but by using high level expertise). I can't wait to hold the first copy in my hands. <br />
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It will define the meanings of words like teaching, coaching, schooling, and educating in ways that will foster people's basic mental health. Remember, it is a field guide. <br />
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I did my best to follow the rule of K.I.S.S. It means "Keep it Simple Silly". Take care. I will give updates as good new arrives on my book. <br />
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Sincerely,<br />
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JonJon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-49959222210318711862014-07-28T19:34:00.001-07:002014-07-28T19:34:04.996-07:00Communication Basics: Being Satisfied (A Tutoring Story)C. S. Lewis once said we are far too easily pleased. I think we would agree that this also means people are far too easily satisfied. I tend to agree with him. That is, if I can believe the opinions of some of my students when I was a tutor. I asked one of my smarter tutoring student to give me an assessment on his fellow students. Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-60186286486506310332014-07-28T19:19:00.001-07:002014-07-28T19:19:42.091-07:00Communication Basics: Being Ready (Tutoring in a Trilingual Context)On one occasion I was called in to tutor a young student from a trilingual home situation. One parent spoke French as their first language. The other spoke Spanish as their first language. English in a private school was going to be a challenge. Thankfully, the assessment I did (that had been passed along to me by another tutor) on that occasion pointed directly at the challenge of English to this young person's mind. <br />
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I also functioned with the rule that it is best to work on their struggles in the context of their books and assignments from school without me adding further material. I always felt that extras could overwhelm the student through violating the K.I.S.S. (Kept It Simple Silly) principle. I also felt that their context needed to be real. I had to see what they were seeing. <br />
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So I had this student read from the text and then tell me in their own words what it meant. The student read eloquently for their age, but understood little of what they read. So I worked hard to raise the level of their comprehension through using not my current far better method of ARWAT, but using traditional grammar of all things. But it worked despite my shortcomings. <br />
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I'll never forget the day I was let go. It was bittersweet. I had accomplished what I set out to do. I had raised the level of their comprehension and the span of their comprehension. Her grades demonstrated their readiness for the challenge of English. All the grades were going up. <br />
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I guess when they are ready to go it alone, I've got to be ready to let go. It truly was exhilarating and bitter at the same time. But I could tell by the look on their face that they felt differently about themselves. Maybe they now felt accepted by their teachers and peers because of their new level of school performance. <br />
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Knowing that family, I bet you that student never looked back again. It is funny what a little acceptance and a little logical understanding of a third language can do to a person's life. Take care to know where acceptable is for you.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
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JonJon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-85686694183088471652014-07-28T18:58:00.001-07:002014-07-28T18:58:58.439-07:00Communications Basics: Be Seeing (A story of Refereeing) When I became a referee after having been a player and a coach previously, it opened my eyes to how difficult being a referee was. But I didn't realize then how important a job the referee had, when it came to dealing with anger. I'm not talking player anger, I'm talking about fan anger. <br />
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It was at a tournament of some kind when I first ran into a fan who tried his best to frazzle me by berating my knowledge of the game of basketball. I remember at one point taking out the officiating manual and pointing out to him that the rules had changed. Anyway, the angry shouts over every supposed mistake I made in the game got to the point that others were telling me I had every right to remove him from the gym. <br />
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I felt instead I should give him some slack since I too at one time had been harder on officials than they deserved, so I gave this gentlemen a break. I know, he wasn't behaving like a gentleman. <br />
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A few years later, I was no longer wearing my officials uniform and was in a new position as a program director at a camp, when you might guess came in the door with a large young contingent. I recognized him. I never asked him, if he recognized me. He probably did. <br />
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But you know we became very good friends. I guess using a soft answer to turn away wrath really does work. I kept my peace and for not throwing him out on an occasion, I made a friend. <br />
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We've all probably been there at some time. Really angry at someone. And what did we do? Well, at least some of the time we probably made ourselves look rather unintelligent. We weren't seeing our anger or someone else's anger. And in the end the emotion of peace is linked to the logic of things. But in the end where these two meet, it comes down to us seeing things from another significant person's point of view. <br />
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If I had not seen how that man could be so angry, then I think we would not have become friends. I would have instead likely raised his anger to a whole new level. I'm glad I was able to see, to keep my peace, and to keep a friend. Unfortunately, I have not always done as well as I did that time. Take care and watch your seeing. Make sure you see what you ought to see. <br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
JonJon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-63890262647459587472014-07-28T15:27:00.001-07:002014-07-28T18:41:50.016-07:00Communication Basics: Being Willing: (A Tutoring Story)Some of my best experiences come from one-on-one tutoring. What is especially helpful is to know that for young minds the emotions are especially paramount based on the development stages of Fowler and others. In all my tutoring, I always assess the student and parents before I agree to take on an assignment. I perform a basic SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis and then determine whether or not I can help or if they need someone else. <br />
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During the start of my tutoring contact, the general parent plea is help my child do better in school. The general plea of the student is help me do better, so my teachers and my parents will get off my back. I say the latter a little tongue in cheek. They seriously just want to be able to do the task that the school is asking them to perform. They are usually very willing to take me on as long as I indicate what it is that they need and they agree with that assessment and the realize I can also provide what they need to their satisfaction. <br />
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Because here I am referring to things in a more confidential setting in the case of tutoring, I am not going to use names. If I did that, it might be harder for me to find students to tutor. I've tutored in California and the Midwest and it can be really gratifying. <br />
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On one occasion, I did have a young student for whom friendship was particularly important. It came down to counseling them through the issue of a supposed best friend who wasn't very friendly. They needed a little coaxing to help them be willing to find another best friend. That experience of letting go of a not so good best friend, helped that student flourish, but while they were not willing to let go of the not so good friend, their grades were suffering. Once this change happened where there was a change in friends, this student experienced more the joy and the connections with other students that feed that joy. I helped her reduce her grief at school. <br />
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It was fun afterward to watch this young student joyfully jump into their seat happy to learn. Sometimes all you do is give a person a reason to smile again, by helping them to let go of those who are barriers to their life rather than openings for joy. <br />
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One other quick note on this student relevant to the struggles of students today. I shared with the student a saying: "If you chase two rabbits, then both will escape". It helped them then to focus enough on each assignment rather than suffering from significant distractions. They even ran around the house teaching the rest of the family this principle. Sometimes tutoring has its own rewards. <br />
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One last part of this story. So as usual, I worked myself out of my job and the student became strong enough to handle what was needed on their own. Every parent apologizes to me as a tutor, when they say I am no longer needed. They don't realize that this is my greatest badge of honor: "I don't need you anymore, because I can now do it on my own". I'm so glad they can. That is my satisfaction. <br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
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<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-36173911994509021292014-07-28T15:24:00.001-07:002014-07-28T18:42:11.454-07:00Communication Basics: Being Able (A Football Story)Sometimes in life a great person comes into your life who possesses what they need. You only release that thing in them. That was the case with one of my favorite players, Derrick Williams. Derrick was the kid with the infectious smile. But that infectious smile was in danger of turning into a serious frown. One day in practice, I noticed Derrick was being picked on for holding up our practices. He was last in nearly every drill. I really liked this kid and I shared with coach that I thought there was the possibility he might quit if we didn't address what he was facing in practice head on. The head coach and I, Marty Smith, at the time devised a plan. Marty knew something about students being picked on since he worked with the developmentally disabled. Derrick did have those kinds of issues, but his teammates weren't helping things at that point. <br />
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We decided to speak to Derrick alone to start. He told us how he had come out for football as part of an agreement with his parents as a way to lose weight. We asked him if he was able to do what we asked: Finish every drill to the best of his ability. We weren't asking him to start beating his teammates. We were asking him to beat his old self. We were asking him to never stop and to never quit. He agreed he could do that. We told him we would then be addressing the team and the expectations we had for them. I almost get emotional all over again trying to re-tell this story. <br />
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Likely the next day of practice, we addressed the players and told them that Derrick had promised us to never quit on the drills and that he would give it his all. So they were expected to encourage him. I don't think even Marty was ready for what was to come. <br />
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I didn't realize it then, but we gave Derrick a boost in confidence by letting him know he could do what we were asking. We also added to that a logical visible strategy of what we wanted him to do and it was doable for him. He did what we asked. <br />
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The results were beyond what I expected as well. I started watching the guys gradually get stronger in their encouragement of Derrick. I think it might have started to become a competition on who could shout the loudest for him in words of encouragement. There were too those slaps of encouragement that football players love. The atmosphere changed from one of jeering to cheering. It was the icing on the cake, but again there was something more that was to happen. <br />
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If I recall correctly, it was a year later when I saw a football player running toward me who I eventually recognized was Derrick. He was smiling from one side of his face to the other with that effectious smile of his. Here was a guy now shaped no longer widest in the middle, but widest in the shoulders and narrowest in the middle. It was amazing what he had done. <br />
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He had his emotional confidence. He had his logical "to do" plan. Who knows what Derrick might be able to accomplish. I can't wait to find out what you can do also. Take care.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-3226793732937849352014-07-28T14:55:00.001-07:002014-07-28T15:25:25.147-07:00Communication Basics: Being Ready (A Football Story)There are only a few games in my entire coaching career where I felt a bit of shame. In three cases, there was nothing that I could do, because control over aspects of the game had been taken from me. There was one game where it looked like I might feel more than a bit of shame. I was the coach in charge. The head caoch was gone for that week. I thought we were reasonably ready to play. That time I was wrong. <br />
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We unceremoniously fell behind 16-0 at the end of the first half. For a freshman team that is a long way behind, because usually a quarterback takes a bit longer to mature as a passer than do some of the other positions with their respective roles. So heading to our end zone area at the end of the half, I had better have something to say to avoid a potentially embarrassing loss. <br />
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I saw everyone of my player's heads hanging. I think I interpreted this as a lack of confidence at the time. I now realize it was a clear indication of shame. You know this too. Your parents will say to you when you are ashamed, "Stop hanging your head". So I pulled out a story that didn't just address fear and confidence, but also shame and acceptance. I did not realize the latter then, but I got lucky. Then I hitched to that story the idea of Keep It Simple Silly (KISS). I was just thinking of the idea of information load here and not overloading their brains. Actually, it is also a great logic to connect with the feelings of acceptance. How many times can a guy get lucky in one game? <br />
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So I shared with them that I had watched our team while I was playing come back from 21-0 at the half and win in a state record 5 overtimes. Part of this story too each guy taking responsibility for their part on the field rather than pointing the finger at someone else. Then I told the offense one thing to fix and the defense one thing to fix. I told them not to think about any other errors. Just fix the biggest on each side of the ball. This did avoid mental overload, but it also avoided acceptance overload - we'll never measure up. <br />
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I was about to be greeted by one of the greatest turn arounds I have witnessed in my life. Two things really stand out. First, is one of the more talented players on our team stepping up and taking on more responsibility rather than pointing his finger at others. The other is that the defense did exactly what I asked and it changed everything on that side of the ball. The offense quickly turned their game around as well as we roared back into the game the second half. Very late in the game, we had one play left to win or to lose, the score was that close. <br />
<br />
We came up just a few yards shy on that last play of winning the game. Everyone on our sideline knew that with more play or with any more luck we would have won. The most shocking thing was the response from our fans. One of the parents said that in all of the games he had witnessed he had never seen anything like it. I also was greeted by the other coach who asked, "What did you change at halftime?" I had to apologize and say I can't answer that question. They were after all probably our number one rival in our conference. <br />
<br />
But only sidnce this last May 2014, have I seen what I did. I did it then, but I didn't see it. Not only that I think I mishandled the players feelings of acceptance later, because I didn't know that is what they were feeling. You see that second half, the KISS method made it possible for the players on each side to feel they measured up to what was acceptable to me and then thta changed the scoreboard in terms of what was acceptable to their fans. It is a "shame" that we didn't score on that last play, but the shame of the first half, it was rightly gone. They had good reason to feel so unashamed for that half. Take care and face down shame and aim instead for acceptance. That is the emotional part of being ready. <br />
<br />
Sincerely Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-58184224066562455962014-07-28T14:19:00.001-07:002014-07-28T14:23:01.367-07:00Communication Basics: Being Willing (A Football Story)Two times after games I have had the opposing coaches ask me what I did after a victory. Of course, I could not tell them then, because I wanted to keep our competitve advantage. Well, time has now passed and I can be more open about what we did as a staff and players. <br />
<br />
By far, one of the most dramatic games I have ever coached was one where we entirely blew another team out as far as the score was concerned. I don't know any longer the exact details, so I apologize for any errors, but I ask that you indulge me for using my best guesses. I do know two details for certain. We did not allow them to score and they gained minus yards for their offence for the entire game. <br />
<br />
It was the same year as the LA Riots of the spring of that same year, except it was now the fall following adn there was fear over another race related incident. The LA Riots had inflicted a great deal of damage upon the city. Not just in its buildings, but in its people. Race relations had significantly diminished. In some neighborhoods where different racial groups had enjoyed relative friendship there were now more hard feelings. <br />
<br />
In a time of a breakdown in relationships between people, there is always a sense of grief. But in this case, it wasn't a loss related to losing a friend due to natural health reasons. It was related to accusations of prejudice based on race. This same kind of issue as I recall happened again in the through an incident relating to police conduct again. <br />
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At this same time, there was also a freshman football game scheduled between our predonminately caucasionan school and a school that was predominantly Afriecan_ American school. School administrators from both schools wisely decided to delay the game another waek before we played each other. Unfortuanatley, while wisdom prevailed the folloiwing week not much had changed in the minds of our players. I think the general sense on the bus was that what is usually a friendly game of football might turn out to be otherwise. Our guys were reasonably afraid of playing under those conditions. What I noticed was that the fear was not isolated to a few players. There was fear that could lead to a disasterous outome. I turned to the head coach and I mentioned that due to our duty to keep our players safe, we might have to forfeit due to our players' state of mind. Marty was the head coach and he was not too keen on that idea. <br />
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I agreed with him and then I saw a way out for us. I told him I thought the actual threat of a forfeit might wake our players up and I might be able to convince our players to play with the condition that they could not play with fear. He allowed me to try it. <br />
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When the bus stopped at the opposing school, I heard the rattle of pads and asked the players to remain in their seats. I told them I was going to talk to the opposing coach. Our team captains quickly realized something was up and they wanted to know what. I told them that due to their fear, I felt that we had to consider forfeiting because fear is not a safe way to approach the game. In football terms, we call it a major factor in entering a game and "getting killed".<br />
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As I expected, they wanted nothing to do with a forfeit. So I made a bargain with them. If they didn't want to forfeit, then they needed to overcome their fear of unfriendly competition. I didn't use the word confidence, but I know that is what I wanted from them. I then told them a strategy for overcoming their fears based on my dad's saying, "they are more afraid of you than you are of them" and one of my coaches allowing me to set the bar with an opposing player where he was afraid of me rather than the other way around. I also reminded our players that while they needed to play hard they needed to play clean. This is what I think more than anything keeps competition friendly. Playing hard was to mean just that without any cheap shots. <br />
<br />
I must have gotten their attention and they were absolutely true to their word to do as I asked. They satisfied entirely Coach Marty Smith's and my concerns. They went straight down the field on the opening kickoff and it looked like a bowling ball knocking down the pins in an alley for a strike. <br />
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We won that day without any effort to run up the score, something like 38-0. But perahaps the most telling was the defensive effort of keeping the other team to a minus 7 yards for the game. Keep in mind this was a freshman squad. They were a long ways from seasoned senior players. <br />
<br />
This game demonstrates the importance of addressing not just strategy and plans but also the emotions of players. The other thing is that the order was emotions first, logic second. This fits with the findings of Dan Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence. The result was a team that was willing to play cleanly and without fear right then and there. The game turned into a joyful occasion from one that seemed would turn out otherwise on the ride over on the bus. Even in the greeting at the end of the game, the other coach clearly perceived the cleanness of our game. He just had one simple question. What did you do? <br />
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I'm still hesitant to tell the whole story. But anyway, now he and others know more than I revealed then. Telling the whole story is almost like telling everybody your favorite fishing hole. No one does that, do they?. Anyway, I still am going to hold a little back. Take care of your fearful players. <br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-4776083253452399172014-07-28T13:02:00.001-07:002014-07-28T18:42:45.491-07:00Communication Basics: Being Satisfied (Inner City School Teaching Story)Sometimes in life it is a combination of skill and luck that makes you successful. In the case of moving from a classroom of students from dissatisfaction to satisfaction while I was a substitute teacher, I must give credit to both. What had changed leading up to this point was my desire to increase class discipline and learning through more of the carrot and less of the stick. The other thing was continuing to use a logical tool that showed the students the purpose and method of school, so they could be more motivated and more successful. <br />
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If you were a student growing up, then you know how bad it sometimes went for substitutes as students tried to test their worth. When I was a student my classmates sometimes ate them for lunch. While I lived in California I needed some more income, so I added this to my mix for making more money whenever my other jobs were not producing adequately. I decided from the start, I was not going to be a sub who was eaten alive by the class. <br />
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I developed a great "stick" approach to class discipline. I was never really eaten alive, though it certainly was tough some times. I wasn't satisfied though it was a good starting point from which to begin. As time passed, I became more aware of a desire to "use the carrot more than the stick". Sometime in the early 2000s, I finally wanted to try something new. It likely was in 2004 and following. For some time I had been using a tool that showed students the logic behind school, both in terms of the how and the why. This clearly made things better, but I still wasn't fully satisfied. <br />
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So finally, when I was substituting in downtown St. Paul, MN, I put up on the board two diagrams. One had to do with the carrot or the stick. The carrot in this case was pleasure. The stick in this case was pain. Next to that, I placed a pie chart with 4 words for each slice of the logical pie and one name for the whole pie. <br />
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I also wrote my name on the board, since I knew knowing my name was significant in creating ease in the class. Then I would introduce myself as the teacher who wanted to keep things on the positive side of pleasure in education, but that they also had a responsibility to keep it from going to education becoming a pain. Next, I would ask them why they were in school and wrote down on the board their answers. <br />
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It was the same nearly everywhere I went. No one really knew the how and the why. I usually say 95% didn't know, but that is being very generous. Answers would range from because I have to and my mom made me come to having a better chance at a better paying job. These answers may not have been on the mark, but they were real reasons students were in class. Then I would ask them, if they could tell me from my chart, the core reason behind why they were in school and how the set up of school fostered that. On my multiple choice chart, they got even closer to the answer, but usually the one that was the main one was the last one they chose. <br />
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It was then that I would explain that the why of school was to teach us mainly about things and the words associated with them. If they would realize that the strength of school was there, but also that its strengths were not in the others, then they were better equipped to be successful in school. But if they asked school to be something it wasn't like focused on action, then they would likely find it hard to be successsful. The key was to learn its strengths and then supplement from other areas to build an overall strong person. <br />
<br />
[School already does try to supplement itself in the other areas. It has physical education (PE) to go along side mental education (ME). It also offers extra-curricular options to supplement the student and classroom emphases. You have sports to strengthen the body alongside the mind. You have clubs to strengthen the soul alongside the mind. It is a time to strictly work on building relationships and friendships. There were leagues or bowl events for larger scale opportunities to build our heart for competition to be the best at something a person can be. These things I likely did not mention the day I was at the St. Paul high school. But I sure wish I had.]<br />
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The best part of this new approach was that the students became model students that day. It was the best classroom behavior I had ever experienced. But that was just the icing on the cake. It was not the writing on the cake. That came at the end of the school day. I was walking down the hall when a student from one of my classes that day said, "I wish I was you". At first, I was in a bit of shock. I just had a student say this to me "a substitute". But that student made my day. He put the writing on the cake. <br />
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All these years later I can now see how I addressed emotions in a very general way through the carrot of pleasure and the stick of pain. I also addressed their logic. They wanted to know "how" does this thing called school work and "why" am I here in school, when I could be home watching TV or playing video games. I let them see the whole picture and then picked out the part that school handles the best. There was no reason to be jealous of others, when for the first time you have the satisfaction of knowing why you are in school. <br />
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What I thought was the more important part then, addressing the IQ for who and whole (the whole picture and the part school filled in that picture), wasn't the main reason for this students' enthusiasm. It was firs, the EQ (Emotional Intelligence) for school and the sense of emulation over jealousy. Why be jealous of others when you feel satisfaction? Not so obviously that day produced emulation as a pleasure and diminished jealousy as a pain for those students. <br />
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I can't wait now to get back into a teaching role wherever it might be. Because now I can expand the picture to include not only the carrot over the stick, but the basic emotions that line up with each of the basic logics. The emotional center and the logical center will now be better able to talk to each other and to make the mind a better functioning tool for handling this thing called life. Ah, the sweet enjoyment of emulation of mind. <br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-7083372005648486342014-07-28T10:16:00.001-07:002014-07-28T10:16:35.411-07:00Communication Basics: You Can Get SatisfactionThe basics for the mind and/or the organ of seeing is this set:<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
ready</div>
<div>
willing</div>
<div>
satisfying</div>
<div>
able</div>
<div>
seeing</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The question remains of what makes us ready, wiling, satisfactory, able and seeing. I believe it consists of two lists that together not alone create a mind that is satisfied. The first list is our basic emotions. They are:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
acceptance</div>
<div>
joy</div>
<div>
emulation (I want to be like you)</div>
<div>
confidence</div>
<div>
peace</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The second list is basic logic thing categories. They are: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
amounts</div>
<div>
relationship</div>
<div>
whole</div>
<div>
action</div>
<div>
thing</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When these sets are preent the mind is satisfied. When they are not present the mind is not satisfied, but restless until they are found. That is the core of my approach to ,mental health. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
There absence is what I believe produced mental illness. You must avoid these in terms of what should be the stronger in your life. Take care of your mental health and satisfaction. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sincerely,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Jon</div>
Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-37752972470942327152014-07-28T09:56:00.003-07:002014-07-28T09:56:23.128-07:00Communication Basics: Finding What SatisfiesIt is not only important to want something. It is also important to get satisfaction for what you need or want. <br />
Let me illustrate from a time-honored part of contract law. It was considered important in law to consider whether a person is ready, willing, and able to keep a contract. If it was discovered that they were not ready, not willing, and not able to keep a contract that could change a court's ruling. <br />
<br />
Please note that the list of ready, willing, and able is not about what someone wants, but about their satisfying the criteria. The unready, etc. is about what is wanted or needed being not met as criteria. Wanting here means you don't have it. <br />
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Ready, willing, able, [and seeing] means satisfying a want. I might make a statement that I am satisfied that I am ready, willing, able, and seeing. But I don't think I would make a statement of satisfaction if I am not ready, not willing, not able, and/or not seeing. Then I can't get satisfaction. <br />
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So seek what satisfies when it comes to learning. Find something that can meet all the criteria that in the end adds up to satisfying. Take care. <br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
<br />
first noted 4/4/2014Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-65100122750118489942014-07-28T09:42:00.004-07:002014-07-28T09:42:45.634-07:00Communication Basics: Starting rather than WaitingDouble-blind studies are great, but there are problems with them as well. First, they are in short supply compared to the wealth of all knowledge. Second, double-blind studies change their minds a lot. So while the goals are admirable: 1) we need to raise the quantity of things studied this way, and 2) we need to raise the quality of studies; we can't entrust all of knowledge to them. I say this tongue in cheek, but if we relied only on them for our physical health, we might starve while waiting.<br />
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I have people every day come into a nutritional store where I work and they are confused and befuddled by the latest double-blind or not so double-blind studies. Peer-reviewed is also an admirable goal, but still that leaves a lot that we know that is unstudied. So what should we do? Should we wait? Should we ignore their impact and race ahead? Should we through all the studies into the Boston Harbor since they can't agree? <br />
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Double-blind is good to eliminate the placebo-effect. But that doesn't mean that all previous results in tests were wrong due to a placebo effect. It means some of them were. <br />
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Likewise, peer-reviewed is an excellent quality, but peers can mess up. That is why we have jury trials. Because the peers of law professionals sometimes mess up. So what should a person do? <br />
<br />
There is good evidence to show that a lot of knowledge has been tested and tested and tested over generations and is still holding up pretty well. For me, the past yields a lot tests as well. You just can't turn a blind eye to the failures along the way. You need to re-test those. <br />
<br />
But also whey look for problems where there are none? Are we going to throw aside the insights of a successful coach like John Wooden, because he didn't double-blind study all his ideas and peer review after every game? Sports psychology is a great branch of further study, but it is in no place as a Johnny Come Lately to replace everything. It is though in a place to look at the cracks or fault lines with due humility. <br />
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When I first met John Wooden, he first gave me a copy of his success pyramid. He also gave me his personal phone number and said he would be swilling to talk with me as a younger coach. <br />
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He taught me two great things. Start at the beginning and don't run from the calling you have been given. <br />
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The lesson here for us is that even double-blind studies and peer-reviewed studies have a starting point. You have to begin from somewhere.at sometime. We don't have all day for all decisions. That is why we add clocks at sporting events and at work and at school. The thing to do during a time block is to determine what puts you at the best starting point of all your options. I would choose Wooden's base over sports psychology's base at the moment. <br />
<br />
The point is to both start closer and to start faster. To have no starting point is to start further from the starting point. That is the danger of studies. It is that no one finds a closer place to begin. Remember, somewhere is always better than nowhere and now is always better than later, when it comes to starting. That same advice does not necessarily apply to finishing. <br />
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Sports psychology has already begun to study Wooden's insights. I just hope his being rated as the number one coach by ESPN and be other polls will still count for something. His teaching and his coaching were tested over and over many times. Let's remember that a double-blind study and a peer-review paper a full test does not make.every one a teacher or a coach.<br />
<br />
What do think the sports psychology people could help with is studying his leadership idea "The Emotions Are Your Enemy". My SWOT analysis says that is a possible weakness in his approach alongside his strengths. But before that study is done, I think a person has to do their own trial and error in life to some degree and get started. To start with Wooden's base in his success pyramid seems to be a safe place to start. Take care. <br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7991153378522315467.post-78288756851997320782014-07-28T08:53:00.002-07:002014-07-28T08:53:23.805-07:00Communication Basics:Doing Everything Through one MindWouldn't it be cool to have one device that's common to all and through which everything can be done? The electronic's geeks are racing toward that one still. In many ways, the integrated circuit has already accomplished this goal. But what if you had a tool that helped your own brain function better?<br />
<br />
What if you don't have to have a real estate device of a separate kind, you don't have to have an automotive device of a separate kind, you don't have have an exegetical device of a separate kind, and you don't have to have a [you put in your favorite] of a separate kind?<br />
<br />
You don't have to have a linguistic device of a separate kind, you don't have to have contagious marketing of a separate kind, you don't have to have church planters devices of a separate kind, and you don't have to have purpose sketches of a separate kind? What if instead you have the greatest tool for your mind which brings both the common and the technical together, so that it becomes one as in an integrated device?<br />
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I think that should be popular. That is what I have designed for the mind. You can read about it more detail by scanning my other posts. Take care of your mind. It is a terrible thing to waste. <br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Jon<br />
<br />
<br />
first noted 4/5/2014Jon Westlundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01786141359347816357noreply@blogger.com0