For a long time, education has not started with our emotions, but with our logic by default. Emotions were bad, logic good. Emotions were to be fought and controlled and logic was to be followed and let loose. This is contrary to the latest in brain science. Read Dan Goleman in full on emotional intelligence, if you want the brain science. I suggest his book, Emotional Intelligence as a good place to understand the biology behind the emotions. I can't outdo him on that part of the topic. But I would like to outdo him on other parts. The tool that I use for my EQ is the AJECC method (please see other posts for the details).
What I do, is that I go beyond his basic biological and emotional findings and take it at least 2 more steps. First, I find it in my Bible, as well as in his biology, that it is accurate that emotions come first, since "the fear of Yahweh [translations: "the LORD"] is the beginning of wisdom", not the logic of action is the beginning of wisdom. Logic or rationality is the IQ aspect of wisdom, but it follows, not leads. I believe in communication that takes into consideration both EQ and IQ. They have to communicate with each other, not stifle each other, as I learned in my undergraduate years. That wonderful theory of logic first sent my life into a personal tailspin that I could not wait to see end, when it was happening. I made incredibly stupid decisions based on logic first or logic alone. It also nearly killed me physically. Do not bypass your emotions, but rather let both emotions and logic communicate with each other to establish CQ, or what I call, a Credibility Quotient. The most credible people are those in touch with both their emotions and their logic. They don't lose or stifle either one. My favorite tool for IQ is my ARWAT method (please read other posts for details).
So what is the other step forward? Second, I think the test Goleman has for emotional intelligence is weak. It only tells whether you are in touch with emotion and it doesn't really develop a parallel universe of emotions that interconnect with logical intelligence. Aristotle, of classical fame, does this better than Goleman does in his book, Rhetoric. A less classical and more contemporary set of authors is Richard S. Lazarus and Bernice N. Lazarus in their book, Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions, that gives us a more up to date version of Aristotle's kind of treatment of emotions. (I have to admit here that I have only skimmed the book so far. I plan on reading it in full with great expectations so far.)
Please let me add to the "Biblical", "Classical", and "Up to Date" arguments, a "Real Life Story" to demonstrate the power of emotions. Lincoln and Jesus were both fond of stories and I think it is a good idea for one at this point.
I lived in the Los Angeles area at the time of the L.A. riots in the early 90s, as I recall. To give you some perspective of the magnitude of this event, imagine standing above the area of the Rose Bowl and seeing a dark black cloud of smoke over the entire Los Angeles Valley with sun breaking through around each edge of the black smog from the cities' fires. The only other image that I can compare it to is from the movie, Godzilla and the Smog Monster, if you ever watched it. (Admittedly, the movie wasn't too good.)
There was another cloud in the city at the time. It could be called the cloud of great fear. This followed a cloud of immense anger. As a result of this fear, our school, a predominately Caucasian/white school, and another school, a predominately African American/black school, decided to postpone a football game between our schools. The problem is that the postponement, while a good idea, was not enough. Fear was very much still present as we road the bus to the game at the opposing school.
To shorten the story, I decided that I needed to address the fear head on, if were to avoid a disaster during the game. I stood up on the bus and told the players, as they were gathering their gear together, to remain on the bus, because I was going to address the other coach. As I expected, team captains asked for an explanation. I told them that they were too fearful to play and that I was going to offer the other coach a forfeit rather than seeing them "get killed" on the field due to their fear. As I expected, they stepped up and said they wanted to play. I said that it could happen under only one condition. That they were not going to play fearful and so they would play the game the way that I suggested to overcome their fear. They swore they would and so I gave them my instructions for overcoming their fear.
They apparently were really afraid, because they really listened. They went on the field and scored something like 38 points, as I recall. But more importantly, they held the other team to -7 yards for the entire game. The lesson I shared with them that day intuitively, from fearful situations that I had faced, was a lesson in moving from fear to confidence. No one can tell me that emotions don't matter. Yes, logic was there too, but these players were keyed up to play by the emotion of fear moving into confidence. Now I consciously know, not just intuitively know, why my instructions worked.
This is what we now need. We need people equipped consciously to deal with emotions and then logic. We need to gain credibility on this planet where too many things are more incredible rather than more credible. I don't want to hear "awesome" again, I want to hear "credible" again. People need to ask, "What is my CQ?". I have my "CQ method" laid out on paper, but I have not put it on-line yet like EQ and IQ.
I am a Christian, but much of what I say about communication can be used by anyone regardless of persuasion. It is true that there is no one I trust more than Jesus Christ, both as a man and as God, who has shone their face on this earth because he was not a master at manipulation, but a master at credibility through not only his IQ, but his EQ, leading to CQ, which means in terms of significance, his credibility.
If anyone asks me, "How do you know he is God?" It is because he was a master of EQ and IQ, and therefore CQ, that is unequaled in any person I have ever met. His word is primarily confidence building and balanced with fear only as necessary. I have learned from him that as only a human being, not to be fearless, but to be confident or "strong and courageous", if we go back to the time of Joshua.
Sincerely,
Jon
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