In college, I was introduced to the importance of communicating well. It came through linguistics, the scientific study of language. It is part of the larger topic of communication. Lately, we have been hearing in the United States a lot of communication directed towards its citizens as many candidates try to convince the people to follow their vision for the country. I want to turn to a very old message to society, found both in the Hebrew Scriptures of Isaiah and in the Greek Scriptures of Luke for what I think needs to be communicated well. It is a summary statement of objectives in regard to a society or nation. Let's see how the current leaders are communicating.
I know there exist complex issues in relating Isaiah 61:1-2 and Luke 4:18, since not all the wording is the same. While I am fully aware of those issues, that is a topic for sometime future. Time is limited in a blog post, so I am going to look at Jesus' manifesto. Here it is with some modifications in some of the translation:
The Spirit of the LORD is on me, because he has anointed me
to preach the gospel to the empty-handed;
he has sent me ...
to heal the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives, and
to give recovery of sight to the blinded,
to offer freedom to the oppressed.
What I find interesting is what Jesus is offering and what is offered in Isaiah to people looking for a break in their lives to return to something healthier than what they are currently experiencing. It is a time for healthy message to those experiencing lack; a time for change, a time for a break, a time for freedom, a time for seeing things previously unseen. We've heard speeches and communication that sound promising like this passage, but that also have failed to deliver. What is missing?
I think what is missing is these promises without context or proper regard for the situation. Here is an ideally balanced social manifesto outlined by my linguistics professors, William A. Smalley and Donald N. Larson, at Bethel University in the 80's. Their strengths as professors of linguistics lay in their ability to look at language from a societal or anthropological perspective. To the best of my knowledge, they are the only ones who bring together this full outline of what I consider healthy or well-rounded communication. Their outline for language classes were outlined as follows, with some minor changes that I'm quite certain they would approve were they still living by yours truly:
Model and Theory
Continuity and Change
Bond and Break
Rule and Freedom
Sense and New Sense
We've all heard speeches in the United States that proclaim each of the later items - theory, change, break (independence), freedom, and new sense (innovation) as virtues. It is harder to sell the former items on the list, but that is a paramount tragedy. If I follow my role model and live well, I hope that is celebrated! If I am being paid fair wages that continue to rise according to merit, I hope that continues! If I am married to the right marriage partner, I hope we keep our bond to each other forever! If the rules I am given for success keep providing success, I hope I keep using those rules for achieving success repeatedly! Finally, if I have sense to see things, then I don't regret it!
What theory, change, independence, freedom, and new sense are for is when those things aren't happening. When their is disparity from fair wages, let change happen! When a bond is violated, let independence be available! When rules are not enabling, then let freedom reign! When sense is nonsense, then let a new sense be discovered! These are the contexts and situations when these all make sense. They are not one size fits all situations solutions. They are based on conditions and our responses to them in a society where we are in a relationship to each other. A society needs to cater to what is healthy and remove what is unhealthy. A society needs wellness. We need to welcome what is needed to fill what is lacking.
So I am in favor of a wellness theory and the healthy communication of all that makes us well -
WHEN hands are empty from a model that lacks the particulars that follow.
So I am in favor of healing -
WHEN hearts are broken or breaking by negative amounts in trying to live life.
I am also in favor of liberty or independence -
WHEN people are made captives through barriers rather than bonds f relationship.
I am also in favor of freedom
WHEN the methods employed are not enabling, but disabling or oppressive to workers.
Finally, I am in favor of a new sense for students and teachers
WHEN the current sense can't see things that really exist.
So we in the United States are sometimes only fed part of what makes us whole and healthy. We are only partly made well through the people fighting it out through a societal message to us. Sometimes freedom is needed. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes independence is needed. Sometimes staying in a marriage is needed. To me, my professors ideas are well-communicated. They made me well!
Look at the conditions. What makes us well? It is the option that fixes what is lacking! The welcome speech at a welcome time is what occurs in both Isaiah and in Luke. It was the favored or opportune time in each case, because it made people well through what they needed in order to have their hands full in a healthy way! Don't ever let our leaders leave you empty handed - that is not a welcome message!!
To You Hearing a Well Communicated Message,
Jon
P.S. This blog post is more about social health than mental health, but it also is based on the insights of the latter or I never would see the things I see in this post.
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Friday, March 11, 2016
Friday, November 20, 2015
Communication Basics: When Excess Means Too Much of a Good Thing
There are many good things that can be destroyed by excess. An apple is a good thing, but a diet of only apples is not. Protein is a good thing, but just hamburgers at McDonald's for one's entire diet is not! You get the point. Well, I want you to get to point about a set of excesses in the case of mental health and not just physical health.
My book on mental health, Mental Health for Everyone, deals a lot with excesses and how to beat the problem of excess. It deals with it through the principle of intervals. One gets bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter little by little, moment by moment, step by step, and bit by bit. The attainments that are every child's dream - to become bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter, don't occur overnight except in fairy tales but they can begin that night. So my approach in this piece will be to get at the basics of defeating excesses!
Let's bulldoze them down together, shall we? There are four major sets of excesses. They are:
1) expert excess or amateur excess
2) manic depression excess or procrastination-sleep excess
3) easy street excess or difficulty street excess
4) know everything excess and know nothing excess
You probably have not heard of some of these under these names, but I would guess everyone has experienced these excesses whether it be at school, at work, at play, or at a religious gathering.
Let's deal with each one, one at a time, starting with the first one. As I deal with each I will be more specific about each generalized grouping.
Expert excess I call "expertitis". It has a close cousin, a fellow excess, called "amateuritis". They both fail to lift a light weight more than previous lifts that is necessary to get bigger. Excess expertise fastens too heavy a load on people's backs. Excess amateurism fastens too light of a load on people's backs. They both look foolish, yet day after day the king doesn't realize he's wearing no clothes! We want people's minds to grow into a greater understanding - it is just that it has to happen little by light to remain light so that people reach a bigger understanding. The excesses make understanding smaller. We need to change this in terms of quantity and quality from both excesses.
Manic-depression excess is what it sounds like. It is both too high and too low. It goes outside actual human limitations. It has a close cousin, a fellow excess, called procrastination-slowness. The latter pair is my own creation. Isn't it ironic that on the internet I can plenty of articles on manic-depression and on bipolar that are sicknesses, but I could not find an article on what is its healthy opposite nor on its close cousin of excess? I had to go to other sources than psychology for a serious concern about being a procrastinator or being too slow - a slow poke. You find this in the business world primarily. This is interesting because the success of high technology has led us into a steady diet of fast and steady. Also interesting is that a child's fairy tale has taken hold in psychological circles. It is part of Aesop's fables and it is called, The Tortoise and the Hare. This story's fabled moral is a steady diet of "slow and steady wins the race". Not according to the internet and the rest of technology! The excesses of both stories - Aesop's and the internet's - are woven into too much of our thinking. We are people that should be fast and variable - able to rest, sprint, run, or walk depending on the distance and time. We aren't doing this! We need to break free in terms of placement and timing from both excesses.
Easy excess can be called easy street. Difficult excess, its close cousin, can be called difficult street. When it comes to increments it should be easy, but this should not lead to an avoidance of difficulty. Eventually in our jobs over time, we can handle more difficult processes than we could at first. If we try to master everything in the beginning, it all becomes difficult and then some even quit. In other cases, employees can be with a company for years and never master the harder parts of a job. It should be that we are moving from easy to easy step by step, but not all in one step and not with the end goal that we cannot master hard things. The greats make the difficult look easy. Look at your greatest musical artists and at your best athletes - they make even the difficult look easy - so it is both and not excess! We need to free ourselves from the popular approaches to methods and purposes where we too one day can make the difficult look easy.
The I know everything mentality and its close cousin, I know nothing mentality are both dangerous. We have got people who run around claiming to know what they don't know. I see this a lot with predictions of the future. Some things you can know about tomorrow given that certain conditions remain constant, but you don't know that they necessarily will. There are people who claim to know the end of the earth. I thought we we human beings who don't know everything? Having said that though, we also like to play at knowing nothing. Really? You really don't know. Some of this play borders on pathetic. If we've had teachers, we ought to know some things as do others, we ought to know things others don't, we ought to not know things others do know, and there ought to be things neither person knows; but this last category is only one of four - not the whole deal. We need to be learning new things in terms of things and kinds and not just be stuck with two old bad cousins.
It is time to close up this discussion. The point in all of it is to be healthy by avoiding excess. This article for example can only be so long. We need to avoid the excesses of experts and amateurs and step up our understanding little by little. We need to avoid the excesses of the Manic -Depression and the Procrastination-Slow and step up our inspiring moment by moment. We need to avoid the excesses of Easy Street and Difficult Street (it might be also called Baker Street with the difficult hero, Sherlock Holmes, in room 212B). We also need to avoid the excesses of know-it-all and know-it-not at all and develop the captivating bit by bit If you avoid the communication of this article, then please be sure it is not because of one of these excesses. Improve your ability to listen and then speak - to communicate - through excess avoidance. We need to change excesses, break from excesses, free ourselves from excesses, and discover some new things. Remember too many apples is not a good thing for your diet. Your mind has a healthy diet too! Get mental health and then get happy!
Sincerely,
Jon
My book on mental health, Mental Health for Everyone, deals a lot with excesses and how to beat the problem of excess. It deals with it through the principle of intervals. One gets bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter little by little, moment by moment, step by step, and bit by bit. The attainments that are every child's dream - to become bigger, faster, stronger, and smarter, don't occur overnight except in fairy tales but they can begin that night. So my approach in this piece will be to get at the basics of defeating excesses!
Let's bulldoze them down together, shall we? There are four major sets of excesses. They are:
1) expert excess or amateur excess
2) manic depression excess or procrastination-sleep excess
3) easy street excess or difficulty street excess
4) know everything excess and know nothing excess
You probably have not heard of some of these under these names, but I would guess everyone has experienced these excesses whether it be at school, at work, at play, or at a religious gathering.
Let's deal with each one, one at a time, starting with the first one. As I deal with each I will be more specific about each generalized grouping.
Expert excess I call "expertitis". It has a close cousin, a fellow excess, called "amateuritis". They both fail to lift a light weight more than previous lifts that is necessary to get bigger. Excess expertise fastens too heavy a load on people's backs. Excess amateurism fastens too light of a load on people's backs. They both look foolish, yet day after day the king doesn't realize he's wearing no clothes! We want people's minds to grow into a greater understanding - it is just that it has to happen little by light to remain light so that people reach a bigger understanding. The excesses make understanding smaller. We need to change this in terms of quantity and quality from both excesses.
Manic-depression excess is what it sounds like. It is both too high and too low. It goes outside actual human limitations. It has a close cousin, a fellow excess, called procrastination-slowness. The latter pair is my own creation. Isn't it ironic that on the internet I can plenty of articles on manic-depression and on bipolar that are sicknesses, but I could not find an article on what is its healthy opposite nor on its close cousin of excess? I had to go to other sources than psychology for a serious concern about being a procrastinator or being too slow - a slow poke. You find this in the business world primarily. This is interesting because the success of high technology has led us into a steady diet of fast and steady. Also interesting is that a child's fairy tale has taken hold in psychological circles. It is part of Aesop's fables and it is called, The Tortoise and the Hare. This story's fabled moral is a steady diet of "slow and steady wins the race". Not according to the internet and the rest of technology! The excesses of both stories - Aesop's and the internet's - are woven into too much of our thinking. We are people that should be fast and variable - able to rest, sprint, run, or walk depending on the distance and time. We aren't doing this! We need to break free in terms of placement and timing from both excesses.
Easy excess can be called easy street. Difficult excess, its close cousin, can be called difficult street. When it comes to increments it should be easy, but this should not lead to an avoidance of difficulty. Eventually in our jobs over time, we can handle more difficult processes than we could at first. If we try to master everything in the beginning, it all becomes difficult and then some even quit. In other cases, employees can be with a company for years and never master the harder parts of a job. It should be that we are moving from easy to easy step by step, but not all in one step and not with the end goal that we cannot master hard things. The greats make the difficult look easy. Look at your greatest musical artists and at your best athletes - they make even the difficult look easy - so it is both and not excess! We need to free ourselves from the popular approaches to methods and purposes where we too one day can make the difficult look easy.
The I know everything mentality and its close cousin, I know nothing mentality are both dangerous. We have got people who run around claiming to know what they don't know. I see this a lot with predictions of the future. Some things you can know about tomorrow given that certain conditions remain constant, but you don't know that they necessarily will. There are people who claim to know the end of the earth. I thought we we human beings who don't know everything? Having said that though, we also like to play at knowing nothing. Really? You really don't know. Some of this play borders on pathetic. If we've had teachers, we ought to know some things as do others, we ought to know things others don't, we ought to not know things others do know, and there ought to be things neither person knows; but this last category is only one of four - not the whole deal. We need to be learning new things in terms of things and kinds and not just be stuck with two old bad cousins.
It is time to close up this discussion. The point in all of it is to be healthy by avoiding excess. This article for example can only be so long. We need to avoid the excesses of experts and amateurs and step up our understanding little by little. We need to avoid the excesses of the Manic -Depression and the Procrastination-Slow and step up our inspiring moment by moment. We need to avoid the excesses of Easy Street and Difficult Street (it might be also called Baker Street with the difficult hero, Sherlock Holmes, in room 212B). We also need to avoid the excesses of know-it-all and know-it-not at all and develop the captivating bit by bit If you avoid the communication of this article, then please be sure it is not because of one of these excesses. Improve your ability to listen and then speak - to communicate - through excess avoidance. We need to change excesses, break from excesses, free ourselves from excesses, and discover some new things. Remember too many apples is not a good thing for your diet. Your mind has a healthy diet too! Get mental health and then get happy!
Sincerely,
Jon
Monday, October 13, 2014
Communication Basics: My Manuscript for My Book has Been Submitted
I have not been writing as frequently on this blog or my other major blog due to my needing to complete a book manuscript for publication. It will hopefully be out by the end of the year.
The book's title is: Mental Health for Everybody: A Field Guide. I don't think I have to argue for its relevance. I might have to argue for its content.
It is a book that will bring basic scientific studies (including psychology) down to the average person's level (but not by bypassing, but by using high level expertise). I can't wait to hold the first copy in my hands.
It will define the meanings of words like teaching, coaching, schooling, and educating in ways that will foster people's basic mental health. Remember, it is a field guide.
I did my best to follow the rule of K.I.S.S. It means "Keep it Simple Silly". Take care. I will give updates as good new arrives on my book.
Sincerely,
Jon
The book's title is: Mental Health for Everybody: A Field Guide. I don't think I have to argue for its relevance. I might have to argue for its content.
It is a book that will bring basic scientific studies (including psychology) down to the average person's level (but not by bypassing, but by using high level expertise). I can't wait to hold the first copy in my hands.
It will define the meanings of words like teaching, coaching, schooling, and educating in ways that will foster people's basic mental health. Remember, it is a field guide.
I did my best to follow the rule of K.I.S.S. It means "Keep it Simple Silly". Take care. I will give updates as good new arrives on my book.
Sincerely,
Jon
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Communication Basics: Getting Your Mind Mentally Healthy First
I am writing a book that has a major component in it that deals with communication. Here's the short of it: If anyone wants to know what my book is about, then it is about MENTAL HEALTH as the starting point (not an ending point). Here's the slightly longer of it: If we don't IMPROVE our emotional intelligence (EQ) FIRST and logical intelligence (IQ) SECOND to get credibility intelligence (CQ) THIRD, then get me out of here quick! People's minds are otherwise land mines!
For a long time, education has not started with our emotions, but with our logic by default. Emotions were bad, logic good. Emotions were to be fought and controlled and logic was to be followed and let loose. This is contrary to the latest in brain science. Read Dan Goleman in full on emotional intelligence, if you want the brain science. I suggest his book, Emotional Intelligence as a good place to understand the biology behind the emotions. I can't outdo him on that part of the topic. But I would like to outdo him on other parts. The tool that I use for my EQ is the AJECC method (please see other posts for the details).
What I do, is that I go beyond his basic biological and emotional findings and take it at least 2 more steps. First, I find it in my Bible, as well as in his biology, that it is accurate that emotions come first, since "the fear of Yahweh [translations: "the LORD"] is the beginning of wisdom", not the logic of action is the beginning of wisdom. Logic or rationality is the IQ aspect of wisdom, but it follows, not leads. I believe in communication that takes into consideration both EQ and IQ. They have to communicate with each other, not stifle each other, as I learned in my undergraduate years. That wonderful theory of logic first sent my life into a personal tailspin that I could not wait to see end, when it was happening. I made incredibly stupid decisions based on logic first or logic alone. It also nearly killed me physically. Do not bypass your emotions, but rather let both emotions and logic communicate with each other to establish CQ, or what I call, a Credibility Quotient. The most credible people are those in touch with both their emotions and their logic. They don't lose or stifle either one. My favorite tool for IQ is my ARWAT method (please read other posts for details).
So what is the other step forward? Second, I think the test Goleman has for emotional intelligence is weak. It only tells whether you are in touch with emotion and it doesn't really develop a parallel universe of emotions that interconnect with logical intelligence. Aristotle, of classical fame, does this better than Goleman does in his book, Rhetoric. A less classical and more contemporary set of authors is Richard S. Lazarus and Bernice N. Lazarus in their book, Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions, that gives us a more up to date version of Aristotle's kind of treatment of emotions. (I have to admit here that I have only skimmed the book so far. I plan on reading it in full with great expectations so far.)
Please let me add to the "Biblical", "Classical", and "Up to Date" arguments, a "Real Life Story" to demonstrate the power of emotions. Lincoln and Jesus were both fond of stories and I think it is a good idea for one at this point.
I lived in the Los Angeles area at the time of the L.A. riots in the early 90s, as I recall. To give you some perspective of the magnitude of this event, imagine standing above the area of the Rose Bowl and seeing a dark black cloud of smoke over the entire Los Angeles Valley with sun breaking through around each edge of the black smog from the cities' fires. The only other image that I can compare it to is from the movie, Godzilla and the Smog Monster, if you ever watched it. (Admittedly, the movie wasn't too good.)
There was another cloud in the city at the time. It could be called the cloud of great fear. This followed a cloud of immense anger. As a result of this fear, our school, a predominately Caucasian/white school, and another school, a predominately African American/black school, decided to postpone a football game between our schools. The problem is that the postponement, while a good idea, was not enough. Fear was very much still present as we road the bus to the game at the opposing school.
To shorten the story, I decided that I needed to address the fear head on, if were to avoid a disaster during the game. I stood up on the bus and told the players, as they were gathering their gear together, to remain on the bus, because I was going to address the other coach. As I expected, team captains asked for an explanation. I told them that they were too fearful to play and that I was going to offer the other coach a forfeit rather than seeing them "get killed" on the field due to their fear. As I expected, they stepped up and said they wanted to play. I said that it could happen under only one condition. That they were not going to play fearful and so they would play the game the way that I suggested to overcome their fear. They swore they would and so I gave them my instructions for overcoming their fear.
They apparently were really afraid, because they really listened. They went on the field and scored something like 38 points, as I recall. But more importantly, they held the other team to -7 yards for the entire game. The lesson I shared with them that day intuitively, from fearful situations that I had faced, was a lesson in moving from fear to confidence. No one can tell me that emotions don't matter. Yes, logic was there too, but these players were keyed up to play by the emotion of fear moving into confidence. Now I consciously know, not just intuitively know, why my instructions worked.
This is what we now need. We need people equipped consciously to deal with emotions and then logic. We need to gain credibility on this planet where too many things are more incredible rather than more credible. I don't want to hear "awesome" again, I want to hear "credible" again. People need to ask, "What is my CQ?". I have my "CQ method" laid out on paper, but I have not put it on-line yet like EQ and IQ.
I am a Christian, but much of what I say about communication can be used by anyone regardless of persuasion. It is true that there is no one I trust more than Jesus Christ, both as a man and as God, who has shone their face on this earth because he was not a master at manipulation, but a master at credibility through not only his IQ, but his EQ, leading to CQ, which means in terms of significance, his credibility.
If anyone asks me, "How do you know he is God?" It is because he was a master of EQ and IQ, and therefore CQ, that is unequaled in any person I have ever met. His word is primarily confidence building and balanced with fear only as necessary. I have learned from him that as only a human being, not to be fearless, but to be confident or "strong and courageous", if we go back to the time of Joshua.
I find that he even surpasses the great John Wooden, who I was fortunate to get to know a bit personally, and who I think emulated his Savior, Jesus Christ, in that regard. If I can tell you anything emotionally, then please do one thing, emulate Jesus Christ. It will save you a lot of wear and tear on that mind of yours. May you have a great day filled with greater credibility.
Sincerely,
Jon
For a long time, education has not started with our emotions, but with our logic by default. Emotions were bad, logic good. Emotions were to be fought and controlled and logic was to be followed and let loose. This is contrary to the latest in brain science. Read Dan Goleman in full on emotional intelligence, if you want the brain science. I suggest his book, Emotional Intelligence as a good place to understand the biology behind the emotions. I can't outdo him on that part of the topic. But I would like to outdo him on other parts. The tool that I use for my EQ is the AJECC method (please see other posts for the details).
What I do, is that I go beyond his basic biological and emotional findings and take it at least 2 more steps. First, I find it in my Bible, as well as in his biology, that it is accurate that emotions come first, since "the fear of Yahweh [translations: "the LORD"] is the beginning of wisdom", not the logic of action is the beginning of wisdom. Logic or rationality is the IQ aspect of wisdom, but it follows, not leads. I believe in communication that takes into consideration both EQ and IQ. They have to communicate with each other, not stifle each other, as I learned in my undergraduate years. That wonderful theory of logic first sent my life into a personal tailspin that I could not wait to see end, when it was happening. I made incredibly stupid decisions based on logic first or logic alone. It also nearly killed me physically. Do not bypass your emotions, but rather let both emotions and logic communicate with each other to establish CQ, or what I call, a Credibility Quotient. The most credible people are those in touch with both their emotions and their logic. They don't lose or stifle either one. My favorite tool for IQ is my ARWAT method (please read other posts for details).
So what is the other step forward? Second, I think the test Goleman has for emotional intelligence is weak. It only tells whether you are in touch with emotion and it doesn't really develop a parallel universe of emotions that interconnect with logical intelligence. Aristotle, of classical fame, does this better than Goleman does in his book, Rhetoric. A less classical and more contemporary set of authors is Richard S. Lazarus and Bernice N. Lazarus in their book, Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions, that gives us a more up to date version of Aristotle's kind of treatment of emotions. (I have to admit here that I have only skimmed the book so far. I plan on reading it in full with great expectations so far.)
Please let me add to the "Biblical", "Classical", and "Up to Date" arguments, a "Real Life Story" to demonstrate the power of emotions. Lincoln and Jesus were both fond of stories and I think it is a good idea for one at this point.
I lived in the Los Angeles area at the time of the L.A. riots in the early 90s, as I recall. To give you some perspective of the magnitude of this event, imagine standing above the area of the Rose Bowl and seeing a dark black cloud of smoke over the entire Los Angeles Valley with sun breaking through around each edge of the black smog from the cities' fires. The only other image that I can compare it to is from the movie, Godzilla and the Smog Monster, if you ever watched it. (Admittedly, the movie wasn't too good.)
There was another cloud in the city at the time. It could be called the cloud of great fear. This followed a cloud of immense anger. As a result of this fear, our school, a predominately Caucasian/white school, and another school, a predominately African American/black school, decided to postpone a football game between our schools. The problem is that the postponement, while a good idea, was not enough. Fear was very much still present as we road the bus to the game at the opposing school.
To shorten the story, I decided that I needed to address the fear head on, if were to avoid a disaster during the game. I stood up on the bus and told the players, as they were gathering their gear together, to remain on the bus, because I was going to address the other coach. As I expected, team captains asked for an explanation. I told them that they were too fearful to play and that I was going to offer the other coach a forfeit rather than seeing them "get killed" on the field due to their fear. As I expected, they stepped up and said they wanted to play. I said that it could happen under only one condition. That they were not going to play fearful and so they would play the game the way that I suggested to overcome their fear. They swore they would and so I gave them my instructions for overcoming their fear.
They apparently were really afraid, because they really listened. They went on the field and scored something like 38 points, as I recall. But more importantly, they held the other team to -7 yards for the entire game. The lesson I shared with them that day intuitively, from fearful situations that I had faced, was a lesson in moving from fear to confidence. No one can tell me that emotions don't matter. Yes, logic was there too, but these players were keyed up to play by the emotion of fear moving into confidence. Now I consciously know, not just intuitively know, why my instructions worked.
This is what we now need. We need people equipped consciously to deal with emotions and then logic. We need to gain credibility on this planet where too many things are more incredible rather than more credible. I don't want to hear "awesome" again, I want to hear "credible" again. People need to ask, "What is my CQ?". I have my "CQ method" laid out on paper, but I have not put it on-line yet like EQ and IQ.
I am a Christian, but much of what I say about communication can be used by anyone regardless of persuasion. It is true that there is no one I trust more than Jesus Christ, both as a man and as God, who has shone their face on this earth because he was not a master at manipulation, but a master at credibility through not only his IQ, but his EQ, leading to CQ, which means in terms of significance, his credibility.
If anyone asks me, "How do you know he is God?" It is because he was a master of EQ and IQ, and therefore CQ, that is unequaled in any person I have ever met. His word is primarily confidence building and balanced with fear only as necessary. I have learned from him that as only a human being, not to be fearless, but to be confident or "strong and courageous", if we go back to the time of Joshua.
Sincerely,
Jon
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Communication 101: Emotional Intelligence (EQ) AND Logical Intelligence (IQ) EQUALS Ethical Intelligence (AQ)
For the most part on this blog or site, I have spoken to the issues of communication in terms of logical intelligence (IQ) - "Why wouldn't you switch to this new method, because it works where others fail?". That is all well and good and I am not saying that all my appeals have been logical appeals, because I have also made some emotional appeals in among the logical. But today I want to make an ethical appeal - one that combines emotional intelligence appeals with logical intelligence appeals - while purposely not trying to insult either one. In other words, though I have always acknowledged the emotional side, today I want to make it more explicit. Sticking with my blog's tool or method focused approach - I want to introduce you to the AJECC method today to go alongside my ARWAT method. (These two methods mean that I will also have to develop a ethical method as well, but not today!).
This has been a long time coming, in part because psychologists have a hard time agreeing on the emotions. Well to no surprise, using the best of the old and the best of the new worked for me again. I combined Plutnik's new ideas on emotions with Aristotle's old ideas on emotions (with some of my own stuff mainly gleaned from Scripture and language study since the Bible uses language) to get to where I arrived today. I was not there yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that as opposed to where I am in today. Hey, if you keep driving, you usually get somewhere eventually!
Yesterday I put together Plutnik's stuff in a new format, but also noted some emotional gaps in his format. For one thing, Darwin and his crowd die hard, even when they are wrong. This kept Plutnik's model of emotions a little blinded. So reading in Aristotle's Rhetoric today, I looked for his section on emotions (pathos) to see if he could yield insight. Once again, some old Greek writer woke me up with a new thought. What if pathos (emotional appeal) is the greater part of our neurological function, the logical (logos) is lesser part of our neurological function, and the ethical (ethos) - combining the two together - the greatest part of our neurological function?
Here's an example of what I am driving at with this idea. The problem in most appeals today is that they are either all logical or all emotional or at least come too close to those extreme kinds. I am tired of both standing alone without the other. I want some emotional intelligence with some logical intelligence and I am prepared to get mad about it. That's right, emotional about it; but without losing the other half of my nervous system, of course. Why shouldn't a person be upset about something being slighted according to Aristotle? And that is exactly what is happening.
Ironically, today is s special day nationally - it is in the United States the National Day of Prayer. It is also in Wisconsin at least Mental Health Awareness month as declared by Governor Walker. It is also the day that two mental health related deaths occurred in Wisconsin with one in Milwaukee and one elsewhere (among others I am sure). In each case there was a mental health related element that went unresolved.
Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn got angry (at a reasonable level) today about not enough being done for the mentally ill. He said that "none of the investments seem to go to the heart of the problem', when it comes to mental health. He also wanted to be clear that he was not saying this cause any hard feelings in the system, but to simply say that not enough was being done for the mentally ill. I concur. When is the madness going to stop?
Sadly, the very place where both emotional intelligence and logical intelligence should be addressed is also where mad men and mad young people choose to carry out mass killings and their own suicides. We are in dire straits. I do not know how children today can go to school in many communities without fear. I ask: "How do they do it?" Do they just believe it will not happen here - we are fearless? Is that a solution or masking over a deep problem? I think it is the latter.
That is why I think we need to promote EQ of the mind in both private and public schools to really address the problem. Here is how I see each:
I am not certain how easy this "picture" will be to see and read, so let me repeat some of it. First, I should explain that I have used my ARWAT method to set up an ideal order for emotions. Remember I don't think that either emotion or logic is bad and that actually the two together is the ideal. So here is the order of our emotions or feelings (ideally speaking only):
1) Acceptance & Shame (Acceptance is not the same as shameless)
2) Joy & Grief (Joy is not the same as grief-less)
3) Emulation & Envy (Emulation is not envy-less)
4) Confidence & Fear (Confidence is not fearless)
5) Calm & Anger (Calm is not anger-less)
Let me draw out these ideas a bit further:
Acceptance happens when we feel ready (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Shame happens when we feel unready (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Joy happens when there is a will and a way (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Grief happens when even if there is a will there is no way (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Emulation happens when people want to be as one example, "like Mike" (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Envy happens when people want to keep others from being "like Mike" (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Confidence happens when people can do something (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Fear happens when people can't do something (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Calm happens when a person is acknowledged or seen (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Anger happens when a person goes unacknowledged or unseen (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Let me also lay out intellectual intelligence though I have spoken or written about ARWAT before:
This tool combined with the first (see my other previous posts to better understand ARWAT as a method) combine to give us a mind that is ethical. Aristotle spoke of three elements of persuasion: the ethos (ethical), the pathos (emotional), and logos (logical). This latter too is logical. But combined with emotional intelligence, the two together can make a person ethical in terms of knowing good from wrong and greater from lesser.
It is time to resolve the mental health crisis. I say mental because the schools are doing it. They do not grade kids on emotional health. They grade them only on logical health. I have counseled people all the way up to summa cum laude's that were suicidal. They had IQ, but not EQ. I failed in EQ also back in 1983, and I was so devastated by the experience that I resolved and I asked the Good Lord not to ever bring me back there again. Folks, I have not ever been back there again especially in the last 10 years with a raised IQ, but also through years of counseling and good reading to where I have now raised my EQ.
I can't tell you how much I want to make this the month to change things. Why not choose the emotion of joy now over the emotion of grief? Is not putting the solution off simply inviting grief? Do you really think children are safe when adults and children lack emotional intelligence?
If you do I think you are like Magic Johnson who convinced himself that AIDs could never happen to him. If you will use your emotional intelligence and realize how it devastated Magic at least use your logic and remember he was wrong to think it. Let's make this Mental Health Awareness Month into Mental Health Change Month in Wisconsin and in the rest of our nation and the world. Can you give an emotional reason again not to chose joy now over more grief again? Please, I beg you do not procrastinate. It is too potentially costly to our schools. Let's bring back emotion into our teaching, so that the ethic of mass killing followed by high IQ person committing suicide may end. I pray to God on this National Day of Prayer that He will make it so.
Sincerely,
Jon
This has been a long time coming, in part because psychologists have a hard time agreeing on the emotions. Well to no surprise, using the best of the old and the best of the new worked for me again. I combined Plutnik's new ideas on emotions with Aristotle's old ideas on emotions (with some of my own stuff mainly gleaned from Scripture and language study since the Bible uses language) to get to where I arrived today. I was not there yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that as opposed to where I am in today. Hey, if you keep driving, you usually get somewhere eventually!
Yesterday I put together Plutnik's stuff in a new format, but also noted some emotional gaps in his format. For one thing, Darwin and his crowd die hard, even when they are wrong. This kept Plutnik's model of emotions a little blinded. So reading in Aristotle's Rhetoric today, I looked for his section on emotions (pathos) to see if he could yield insight. Once again, some old Greek writer woke me up with a new thought. What if pathos (emotional appeal) is the greater part of our neurological function, the logical (logos) is lesser part of our neurological function, and the ethical (ethos) - combining the two together - the greatest part of our neurological function?
Here's an example of what I am driving at with this idea. The problem in most appeals today is that they are either all logical or all emotional or at least come too close to those extreme kinds. I am tired of both standing alone without the other. I want some emotional intelligence with some logical intelligence and I am prepared to get mad about it. That's right, emotional about it; but without losing the other half of my nervous system, of course. Why shouldn't a person be upset about something being slighted according to Aristotle? And that is exactly what is happening.
Ironically, today is s special day nationally - it is in the United States the National Day of Prayer. It is also in Wisconsin at least Mental Health Awareness month as declared by Governor Walker. It is also the day that two mental health related deaths occurred in Wisconsin with one in Milwaukee and one elsewhere (among others I am sure). In each case there was a mental health related element that went unresolved.
Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn got angry (at a reasonable level) today about not enough being done for the mentally ill. He said that "none of the investments seem to go to the heart of the problem', when it comes to mental health. He also wanted to be clear that he was not saying this cause any hard feelings in the system, but to simply say that not enough was being done for the mentally ill. I concur. When is the madness going to stop?
Sadly, the very place where both emotional intelligence and logical intelligence should be addressed is also where mad men and mad young people choose to carry out mass killings and their own suicides. We are in dire straits. I do not know how children today can go to school in many communities without fear. I ask: "How do they do it?" Do they just believe it will not happen here - we are fearless? Is that a solution or masking over a deep problem? I think it is the latter.
That is why I think we need to promote EQ of the mind in both private and public schools to really address the problem. Here is how I see each:
I am not certain how easy this "picture" will be to see and read, so let me repeat some of it. First, I should explain that I have used my ARWAT method to set up an ideal order for emotions. Remember I don't think that either emotion or logic is bad and that actually the two together is the ideal. So here is the order of our emotions or feelings (ideally speaking only):
1) Acceptance & Shame (Acceptance is not the same as shameless)
2) Joy & Grief (Joy is not the same as grief-less)
3) Emulation & Envy (Emulation is not envy-less)
4) Confidence & Fear (Confidence is not fearless)
5) Calm & Anger (Calm is not anger-less)
Let me draw out these ideas a bit further:
Acceptance happens when we feel ready (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Shame happens when we feel unready (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Joy happens when there is a will and a way (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Grief happens when even if there is a will there is no way (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Emulation happens when people want to be as one example, "like Mike" (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Envy happens when people want to keep others from being "like Mike" (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Confidence happens when people can do something (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Fear happens when people can't do something (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Calm happens when a person is acknowledged or seen (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Anger happens when a person goes unacknowledged or unseen (whether due to internal or external reasons)
Let me also lay out intellectual intelligence though I have spoken or written about ARWAT before:
This tool combined with the first (see my other previous posts to better understand ARWAT as a method) combine to give us a mind that is ethical. Aristotle spoke of three elements of persuasion: the ethos (ethical), the pathos (emotional), and logos (logical). This latter too is logical. But combined with emotional intelligence, the two together can make a person ethical in terms of knowing good from wrong and greater from lesser.
It is time to resolve the mental health crisis. I say mental because the schools are doing it. They do not grade kids on emotional health. They grade them only on logical health. I have counseled people all the way up to summa cum laude's that were suicidal. They had IQ, but not EQ. I failed in EQ also back in 1983, and I was so devastated by the experience that I resolved and I asked the Good Lord not to ever bring me back there again. Folks, I have not ever been back there again especially in the last 10 years with a raised IQ, but also through years of counseling and good reading to where I have now raised my EQ.
I can't tell you how much I want to make this the month to change things. Why not choose the emotion of joy now over the emotion of grief? Is not putting the solution off simply inviting grief? Do you really think children are safe when adults and children lack emotional intelligence?
If you do I think you are like Magic Johnson who convinced himself that AIDs could never happen to him. If you will use your emotional intelligence and realize how it devastated Magic at least use your logic and remember he was wrong to think it. Let's make this Mental Health Awareness Month into Mental Health Change Month in Wisconsin and in the rest of our nation and the world. Can you give an emotional reason again not to chose joy now over more grief again? Please, I beg you do not procrastinate. It is too potentially costly to our schools. Let's bring back emotion into our teaching, so that the ethic of mass killing followed by high IQ person committing suicide may end. I pray to God on this National Day of Prayer that He will make it so.
Sincerely,
Jon
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